extend-a-porch [a paid advertisement]

All you backyard woodwhackers listen up!!  How many times have you found yourself on the front porch and wished for a scootch more elbow room?  The old frigidaire blocking up the scene as usual?  Major appliances cramping your style?  You need the patent pending, fully warranted South End Extend-a-Porch, the perfect solution for those rainy day socials where the kinfolks are jammed up against the tire-swing waiting for the ice cream to crank solid.

 

You just pull the E-Z grab handle and out she comes like an accordian Murphy Bed, sets right on blocks, old tires, tree stumps,  whatever’s handy and in seconds the party’s got room to stretch.  Shirt tail relatives recede to the Back 40 in an instant, practically out of hollering distance.  All those family fisticuffs are a thing of the past.  Old Yeller, the family hound won’t have to unkink that broken tail out from under the rocker every 10 minutes.  But he probably will anyway.

 

You’ll have room for hoseshoes or pin the donkey and still have a corner for the wedding guests.  Need room for a 10 piece fiddle band?  No problem.  The Extend-a-Porch comes in our Double Wide Mobile Home Model.  Has its own roll-on roofing with tires to match the original.  You act now and we’ll throw in radial tires for that roof extension, plus, completely free of charge, our deluxe combination hammock and refrigerator screen.  Out of sight, out of mind.  And you can still use the fridge for storage.

 

The Extend-a-Porch.  Perfect for the over extended family.  Don’t send Grandma to the Home just because you haven’t got room.  Converts to a mother-in-law unit, a root cellar, an automotive shop.  Hundreds of uses.  Act Today.  1-800-MY-PORCH.  Our operators are standing by.  1-800-MY- PORCH.  You will not find this offer at retail outlets so we cannot be undersold.  Our trained installation experts will have you retro-fitted for that next shirt-tail family reunion in the time it takes to say 1-800-MY-PORCH.  More elbow room at a reasonable price.   1-800-MY-PORCH.  Call NOW!!!

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