The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

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It’s only been six years since Inauguration Day. Oh, wait, six months. That feel like six years. And already the Comb-over-in-chief is examining whether or not he can pardon his family and friends and possibly himself for the inevitable verdicts that are coming down the pike faster than jobs are leaving the country. You have to keep pinching yourself to see if this is all some weird dream, something you’ll wake up from and find Hillary Clinton in the White House. Benghazi Benghazi, the war chant of the same folks who can’t find it in their conscience to demand much of anything when it comes to Trump’s malfeasance. Lock her up! Lock her up!

Keep pinching yourself, it isn’t Hillary who’s headed for prison. And yeah, the guy who will be is already looking for his escape route. You can lie all you want selling real estate and name brand to the money boyz in New York and Moscow, but lying under oath, especially to the FBI and the Special Prosecutor, good luck with that. Ask Bill Clinton. Sexual dalliance is one thing, but lying won’t cut it. Give him credit, though, he never planned to pardon himself. That tactic is reserved for the doomed and Bill was never one to see himself as the victim. Donald, oh yeah, he sees himself as something he never dreamed, the recipient from a thousand bullies’ attacks. So unfair! Bad!

The noose is tightening every day and you can hear the screams of anguish from the White House at 4 a.m. every morning clear out here on the Left Coast. The legal beagles he’s hired evidently didn’t counsel him to stay quiet on the subject of executive pardons. He might as well stop tweeting now and plead the fifth, ditch the attorneys and save some time and money. Nobody who is innocent would be considering pardoning himself, let’s quit fooling ourselves. A written confession might be slightly more damning, but in the absence of that or Mueller’s future indictments, I think a jury of his peers will need pardoning too, but for the jury of us citizens, the only question now is the sentencing.

Personally, I’d be okay with a pardon. Just leave office in Abject Shame, the Trump brand forever synonymous with Lying Loser. Send him back to his gold palace and ban him from public appearances for the rest of his self-absorbed days. Put an asterisk in the history book in the blank space for 43rd President of the United States. * Unindicted Co-conspirator. Pardoned by Himself. No Memorable Legislation.

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