The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

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So for some reason I’m riding down the road in my truck and decide to see what the conservative folks are talking about today, same as I used to before Trump got elected, test the roiling waters of the right wing, put a finger into the wind and see which way the tornado is blowing today.  My moderator begins by saying, “I heard this on some newsfeed this morning and I didn’t have time to fact check it.”

This is a familiar lead-in to any of us who listen to these talking heads on the far right.  Not enough time in the day to double check their sources, but hey, it sounds true to them and so my guy says, “well, let’s just go ahead and imagine it is true, go from there.”  This is like a scientist saying, okay, I haven’t got a clue if this hypothesis is accurate but why don’t we go ahead and build a theory around it, find out if we like the looks of it when we’re done.”

The story my agitator has supposedly, but I doubt, heard, revolves around the rumor which he declares is suspiciously plausible, that Joe Biden tried to cut a deal with the Saudis for a promise of drilling more oil.  He would, this rumor has it, offer amnesty to the crown prince Mohammed bin Salman for the killing of Jamal Khashoggi.  He refers to the prince as MsB or maybe it’s MbS, either case, he tells his audience, you know who I mean.  Oil for amnesty.

Quid pro quo, maybe you remember the Trump deal in Ukraine, not that this will come up in the next half hour’s grinding of innuendo and speculation until the sausage is ready for the bun.  Now, to be fair, I have more time on my hands than our national Limbaugh clone so I punch up MbS and first article out of the chute is the CNN post that the U.S. Dep’t. of Justice cannot bring a case filed by Khashoggi’s wife because the guy happens to be the head of state.  They can’t sue Putin, they can’t extradite Xi, and no, they can’t bring a case against Mohammed either.  Kind of a different story than the unchecked one our national radio star is offering to listeners hungry for dirt on Sleepy Joe.

Now he knows his take is bullshit and I know his slant is bullshit and you probably know better than to even tune into talking heads like this … but, half the damn country listens to this boy and his ilk, twisting and fabricating and stretching the truth til it’s red meat down to the gristle for an audience starved for scapegoats and craving revenge.  You bet I turned my radio to a music station to remove the taste.  The true believers, I’m guessing they’re listening to this all day long.

I got a theory.  Not really based on anything I want to fact-check.  Just something I want you to believe.  Stay tuned.  Send money.  I’ll be back tomorrow with the news.

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The rapper now called Ye, formerly Kanye West, made the pilgrimage this week to Mar-a-Lago, formerly a swamp near the Atlantic Ocean.  The President-in-Exile had invited Ye to a meeting, two very big brained men dining together and possibly discussing Trump’s 3^rd run at the White House when Kan-Ye surprised Donald by asking if he, Donald, would consider running as Vice President when Kan-Ye announces his own run and was then met with angry screams from the candidate who had already declared himself a presidential candidate.  When big brains clash, you have to expect explosions, I guess.

Apparently the tete-a-tete went downhill from there.  Mr. T purportedly made explicitly nasty comments about Kan-Ye’s ex-mizzus, the Queen Kardashian, mother of his children and so the chit chat rapidly slid downhill.  Nevertheless, the rapper turned politician released a two minute video of their encounter, Mar-a-Lago Debrief,  no doubt expecting potential voters might turn away from a man who loses his temper, calls Ye’s woman (bleep) and seems slightly if not totally unhinged.  Well, at least he gave Donald a chance to be his running mate which shows the incredible magnanimity of the rap star.  Despite his anti-Semitic remarks of late.  And the fact that he brought a couple of pals instrumental in white nationalist organizations.  The more the merrier in the clown car, looks like.

If you thought this would be a boring election cycle, you’ve been watching too much Tucker Carlson.  Hopefully you won’t be too troubled by the lack of policy statements, wonky analyses or cogent platforms.  The monkeys are out of their cages now and whoever was in charge has exited the premises.  Expect a barrel of laughs for the next few years.  My guess is Trump will make up and eventually ask Kan-Ye to run as his vice president.  Although … there are plenty of potential candidates to choose from.  Hopefully they won’t dial back on their meds.  We could use all the comedy we can get.

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If you’re like me … and about 50 other Republican wannabees … no doubt you’re thinking about tossing your fedora in the ring and taking a shot at knocking Trump out of the primaries in 2024.  Why not?  The Loudmouth is gambling that his candidacy will subvert the lawsuits, indictments, criminal fines and penalties, possible jail time, all that pesky stuff that would give most people ulcers or visions of suicide but not him.  Money talks and he’s got plenty of talking to do.  Twitter just took a vote and the tweeting public, by a slim margin, said sure, let the man rant on their platform.  That, or they figured the way I do, Twitter is going down like the Titanic with Elon at the helm, kicking off half the sailors and the guys who run the engine room, shortly before the iceberg.

Sure, the other four dozen potential candidates are more qualified than me or you, but you think Trump was more qualified than his ten or twelve opponents when he won the primary back in 2016?  You just got to be more outrageous than the others.  The media loved that guy.  Who do you think they wanted to cover, Bernie Sanders or Marco Rubio?  It was Trump all the time, crazy talk, wild stuff, outrageous accusations, foul language, everything the press figured would sell papers and add to their audience shares.  Even when he turned on them, the networks and the reporters were drawn in like moths to a dumpfire.  And the MAGA minions loved it!!  Deplorables?  Naw, they just love a thug gangster, nothing more American than that.

Used to be candidates espoused unbridled optimism.  Our nation’s best times were just around the bend, a new morning in America, all that blithe jibber jabber.  Now they want to hear why their country is going down the tubes.  So give it to them!  Commies, Proud Boys, Putin, Xi, the big corporations, the immigrants, the gun laws, hell … all of those and more!  Guns kill but gun regulation is worse!  They’re both to blame.  Right wing nationalists and those leftist transgenders, they’re all the reason this once great nation is a shithole.  Blame the farmers, why not?  Toss the Tech Boyz and the potato growers into the same bushel basket of grievance and hate, there’s plenty of room.  Republicans and Democrats … all of them are toadies and inside traders!  The whole wretched bunch should be hauled out and stoned.  Don’t forget the churches, all just as culpable as Hollywood.  Foreigners and inner city criminals, what’s the difference?  Gotta do something about it, gotta get even, gotta get tough!!  And I mean Tough with a capital T.

Yeah, this might be the election to go for the prize.  Most Powerful Hombre in the World.  My hat’s ready.  And so am I.  You just have to know how to appeal to the people.  Trump certainly did, but hey, he’s a Loser now and nobody wants a Loser.

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Imagine, if you can, living without power for a few days.  No phone.  No daytime TV.  No internet.  No refrigeration.  No connection to the modern world you once knew and took for granted.  Maybe you got some candles.  Maybe some kerosene lanterns.  Hopefully some matches.  All the stores nearby are shuttered.  No gas, no food, no ice, no beer and wine.

We just went five days without electricity.  Windstorm blew down trees, power lines, dreams and all hope.  What is a modern pioneer to do?  I’ll tell you what.  Crank up the generator!  That’s right, mister, keep the house powered up!  Reefer cooling, TV on, lights on too.  Just keep pouring gas into the thing, ignore the noise from yours and the neighbors too, return to your Facebook updates, your Instagram posts, your emails and your newsfeeds.  This past week we listened to the hive in full swarm across the road, generators all buzzing angrily.

Folks ask how we can manage without one.  Since they themselves can’t imagine life worth living beyond the reach of the grid.  Oh, sure, they remember their first power outage here, the one that convinced them to haul down to the hardware store once the roads were passable again and buy that portable 25 kilowatt big boy for the next emergency, at least keep the TV running and the computer, maybe some lights, probably not electric heat.  Some got serious and installed permanent whole house units, propane tanks, inverters, automatic kick-in so they needn’t worry about missing an Oprah interview or the ending to that Netlix movie.

The pioneer days are over, friend.  Sitting by kerosene lantern, hauling in water, stoking the stove — maybe we think that sounds romantic, a break from the modern world — but not for most of us now.  Inconvenience isn’t in our vocabulary.  I can tell you that you will survive okay without the computer for a day or two.  You can discover what life used to be like before Instagram.  You might even remember what was important before the digital age.  Maybe why you came here in the first place….

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Just got the news that the world population has passed 8 billion of us humans.  I remember fondly my sociology classes back in the 60’s where my professors absolutely forbid using The Population Bomb as a footnote or a reference.  Paul Ehrlich was no scientist, my educators said, he was a dopey doomsday prophet.  I think the world population at the time was maybe 4 billion.  A lot of us, seemed like to me.  8 billion, well, I have trouble enough getting to know the neighbors now, sure don’t want many more.

One thing I never hear in the debates concerning global warming and climate change is that maybe, just maybe, there are too many of us.  More mouths to feed, more houses to build, more cars to drive, more garbage in the landfills, more need for heating and air conditioning, small stuff like that.  Sure, turn the thermostat down, but hey, what if there were 4 billion less of us wanting to stay warm?   Oh, I know, we love our kids.  We love our dozen grandkids.  And we certainly love our 100 great grandkids.  Although, to be honest, judging from my old man’s memory at 99 years of age, he couldn’t tell you any of their names.  And he has a lot of trouble with his grandkids’s names.  Which are only three of them.  The fact that us 8 billion are living longer thanks to medical science and improved health care doesn’t really help either.

When I came to the South End, four cars drove off going north of our shack, four cars returned home at night.  Better believe we knew our neighbors back then and, unfortunately for them, they knew us.  Now it’s a constant parade of commuters and contractors and lawn service crews.  I don’t recognize most folks at the local grocery.  And with my memory, remembering their names wouldn’t be a likelihood.

So when we’re looking for solutions to overheating the planet, why not look at overpopulating it.  You won’t miss an extra grandkid or twenty, all I’m saying.

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