The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

If you were the King of the Deal Makers, the Top Gun real estate developer in the entire bloody world, a man who could sell hot dogs at a PETA convention, you too might be looking for the next great challenge. He’s already been a reality TV star. He pandered his way into being THE rich playboy jetsetter of New York City. Oh, and he became President of the United States….

What’s the next act for a man whose self-esteem needs a constant fuel supply? Sure, he could declare war on Iran or bomb the bejabbers out of the Taliban. He can start up the nuclear arms war again. He could even drive the country into a recession with enough time to declare victory when the economy started back up. But that’s not enough! Any pedestrian president could do that. What he needs is a Blockbuster. He needs the equivalent of a moon landing. He needs, in short, something biglier than anyone ever imagined. Ever dreamed even.

He needs to buy Greenland. Trump Tower right there at the foot of the melting glaciers. Couple more years and room for a 36 hole golf course. A resort for the ages. Ice-a-Lago! And yeah, I know the Danes don’t want to sell it, but they’re dealing with the guy who wrote the book on the Art of the Deal. Okay, okay, he didn’t write it, a man he hired wrote it, but nevertheless …. If the dude who drove casinos into bankruptcy and still has his name on hotels around the world with backing from major fiduciary firms, if that hombre can’t pull off the real estate deal of the century, I ask you, who can?

All that land, think of it, slowly melting off into the oceans, leaving behind acreage for condos, hotels, stripmalls, industrial areas, military bases, an entire country open to naked plundering. And what better country to do the plundering than the Yew Ess Aye. For all we know there might be coal under those mountains of ice. We’ll bring it back, yes we will, yes we can. Greenland will be green once again. Greenback of dollar, if nothing else. Give the man four more years, he’ll buy Antarctica too!

We all live in La-La Land, a mystical place where anything can be true, even total opposites. Facts grow on magical bean stalks and everything is fair and balanced. Even if it’s not. The President went to El Paso and Dayton this week, not, he made clear, for photo ops, but for visiting the victims of two mass murderers. Course, he made a video of him with the staff of the hospitals, claimed the victims warmly received him, probably helped in their healing process. It turns out the victims wouldn’t let him near them. Not one in that El Paso hospital would allow him in their room. If they survive, you know who’ll take credit for their rapid and complete recovery.

The best brag by the Healer, even better than boasting about the size of his crowds in El Paso vs. Beto’s, was the photo op of him with the kid of deceased parents shot to death, giving the thumbs up and smirking that self-satisfied grin of his. If you were grieving over a heinous crime like this, dozens dead, victims fighting for their lives in rooms nearby, wouldn’t this guy have the words of comfort to unite us all, to speak to us of healing and remembrance, to offer up sympathy? Well, maybe not. Bullies aren’t really admired for those traits and this bully lives in his own mirror.

We’ve moved so far from distasteful with this guy, we might as well root for our food, grunt around the nightly burnbarrels then shelter down in cardboard boxes behind the abandoned big box stores. If you don’t feel like a refugee yourself yet, you aren’t paying attention. “I think my rhetoric … brings people together,” Trump said before visiting Ohio and Texas. His critics are “political people … trying to make points.”

Thumbs up, Big Guy! Smile for the camera! And you want another four years???
Tr

Well, it’s that time of year for Going Back to School sales, outfit the kids with notebooks and pencils, calculators and wardrobes, oh, and don’t forget the Kevlar backpacks. This year’s fashion statement comes with bullet proof fabric, available in hot colors, extra pockets, maybe room for all those books PLUS a first aid kit. Tourniquets, of course!

I don’t know if you’ve been in a school lately. Alarms, security guards, locked doors, notices at the entry for all visitors to check into the office immediately, cameras, drills for intruder alerts, everything but razor wire around the perimeter. Although I was just in Yakima, WA and saw an elementary school which did have razor wire surrounding it. Some communities want teachers to carry guns, some probably want the kids to carry em too. I don’t understand either why the tots are stressed.

The more modern schools, meaning the ones with money, are hiring high tech outfits to monitor Facebook and social media, eavesdrop on cellphones, run an algorithm or a million to determine potential mayhem from maladjusted students, forget about privacy rights, they have the safety of the entire school at risk. Big Brother is now the School Board and the Principal is the Warden.

Now we have Kevlar backpacks. That should reassure the children. Maybe use a frontpack too. And wear military grade steel helmets. I’m pretty sure I’m getting a clear picture of what kind of education our youngsters are getting these days. I remember duck and cover drills for atomic attacks in third grade down in Georgia not too many miles from Cuba missile sites. Get under your desk and hope the blast isn’t real close. Fear is a great teacher, you bet.

Schools must feel like war zones now. Barricades, blast barriers, security details, lockdowns. I assume they still teach math and science, but I suspect the real education isn’t readin’, writin’ and ‘rithmitic, it’s Dread. Course, to be fair, I always dreaded school and we didn’t even have mass murderers lurking in the hallways. Just bullies.

Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the least racist one of all?

Well now, let’s see… is it Adolph Hitler? Could it be Pol Pot? What about David Duke? Maybe George Wallace? Hmm, tough call. But wait! I think it has to be Donald J. Trump! At least D.J. thinks so. And with that very big brain he has and an IQ right off the charts, he must be right. Oh, I know, he called the Mexican immigrants rapists and carriers of disease, criminals and gang members. But that isn’t racist if it’s true, is it?

And okay, he has a bit of a bias against Muslims. Mostly terrorists, but hey, he’s against their religion, not their race. Different, right? Doesn’t make him a racist, just a religionist … or something like that. Okay, he told those 4 Congresswomen to go back where they came from, maybe he didn’t know they were women of color. Being color blind, how would he know?? Those folks down in Charlottesville, all he meant was there were good folks on both sides. White supremacists and those who don’t like Nazis. Why pick sides? We got a big tent Republican Party now, no need to exclude folks for their beliefs.

So what if he called Baltimore a rat-infested mess? Just means he doesn’t love rats, not black folks. And this week he blamed the white supremacists in the same tweet he blamed liberal protestors and the mayor of Toledo, does that sound like a racist? Sure, he questioned Obama’s birth place? So what, he just wanted to see a birth certificate. And okay, when they produced one from Hawaii, he probably didn’t realize Hawaii had been part of the United States. History isn’t his strong suit, but … does that make him a racist?

The man is the least prejudiced man in America, at least White America. Not a racist bone in his big Mac super-sized body, near as anybody can prove. He pretty much dislikes everybody equally. I gotta tell ya, though, if Mr. T is the least racist guy in the country, and I think by now you’ll agree with that fact, I feel like turning myself into the NAACP as a thought criminal. If I’m more racist than this guy, I’m definitely a danger to myself and the neighbors. I don’t want to speak for you, but I think we both know we ought to join the KKK and quit kidding ourselves.