The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

Last season’s episode of the Wild Women of the West Wing ended with Melania storming out of the White House after an explosive argument with her husband concerning which of his last two affairs was his favorite, Stormy Daniels or Karen McDougal. The Donald refused to answer her questions but eventually claimed he’d never met either woman. This cliffhanger set the stage for what promises to be a hilarious round of legalistic semantics in this coming season.

Season Two of WWWW begins with the Donald fuming in the White House as 60 Minutes airs the Stormy Daniel interview. Hysterical comedy ensues as the Prez’s personal attorney threatens to sue the sassy porn star for millions over violation of a non-disclosure agreement DJD never signed. And an affair he claims never to have had.

Meanwhile a constant stream of advisors and cabinet members rotate through the second season’s episodes in a kaleidoscopic blur of firings and hirings. The cast by the second season is larger than Spartacus. At one point the President shouts at Kellyanne Conway, “Bring me more bodies! Bring me more bodies!!” If you thought Season One was preposterously hilarious, Season Two promises to up the ante on farcical absurdity to levels never seen before on daytime TV.

The producers, Steve Bannon and Paul Manafort, promise plenty more shenanigans in the second season of this Emmy nominated series. Two or more spin-offs are in the works from Alt-Right Stay Left Productions, the successful folks behind WWWW told Fox and Friends just yesterday. The Sarah Huckabee Sanders Truth or Dare Show is in the final planning stages and filming has already begun on Firing Line, starring Jim Comey, Andrew McCabe and Robert Mueller, a 10 part HBO original critics have given rave reviews. ‘Gone with the Wind meets South Park’, one anonymous critic said. ‘Racism never played with such comedic flair. Dark and twisted, but hilarious.’

Strap yourself in for a wild ride with the Stormy Season Two’s first episode until its exhilarating surprise finale. Season One is available on Netflix streaming.

Well, Mark Zuckerberg has told us for years that privacy is a thing of the past. In fact, he thinks we should embrace a completely public existence and just to help us out, Facebook opened up its vaults of your personal information to a political team called Cambridge Analytica working for Donald Trump. Cambridge Analytica harvested –I love that word — harvested data from 50 million Facebook users to use in the 2016 presidential campaign. Thanks, Mark!

Facebook attorneys point to the disclosure clauses all Facebook suckers agreed to in defense of their lack of security. You signed up, you gave up your rights, read the fine print, boys and girls. Somehow, though, I don’t think a legalistic defense is going to help these folks whose vision of the company apparently never included a premonition of what was coming. Russian bots, faux news stories, data mining, alt-right hoaxes, phony baloney trollers, political operatives and shady ‘friends’.

I have my own problem with the idea of Facebook as a public forum, but why air that opinion one more time? If folks want to sex-text, if the neighbors want to reveal to any and all what their favorite pizza topping is, if this is the way families and friends communicate in the 21st century, be my guest. Mark’s your guy. Me, I didn’t move lock stock and crackerbarrel down to the South End of a little known island so I could tell you my secrets. It’s why we call em secrets. And no, I don’t think it’s a crime against society to keep my privacy. Even if, as we all know, the security cameras, the GPS cellphone tracking, the Google algorithms, the entire tilt of the future is toward eliminating the individual and celebrating the public. Big Brother is definitely here, he just turned out to be a corporation, not the government, not the Deep State. And all he asked, in return for instant communication and information, was that you ‘friend’ him. Trust him. Serve him. Obey him. Read the fine print, it’s right there between the lines….

Trump Trump Trump. It’s a constant frontal lobe migraine drip, never ending, never letting up, never pausing for a breath. Trump Trump Trump, another blockbuster story followed by another and another, you hate to peek at a newspaper in the morning or turn on the radio or watch the television or scroll down the internet headlines. Trump Trump Trump. The man is a P.R. Machine, doesn’t matter if the publicity is good or bad so long as it grabs you by the lapels and gives you a good hard shake.

Prostitutes pissing on the bed the Clintons slept in in Moscow? Affairs with Playboy models while he was married to … one or the other of his wives? Deals with shady Russian businessmen? Meetings in his country clubs with foreign dignitaries? Selling Trump products while he’s President of the United States? Trump Trump Trump. Firing the head of the FBI? Filling his cabinet with totally unqualified lackeys or lobbyists bent on gutting their own agencies? Hiring his kids, qualified or not? Undermining the intelligence community? Trump Trump Trump. Denigrating his enemies? Bullying those who accuse him of wrongdoing? Petulance and pissyfits? Trump Trump Trump.

If entertainment is what you want from the White House, you got it, binge-worthy, eye-rolling, stomach-churning cliff hangers day after day. Trump Trump Trump, the air in the room is sucked out until nothing is left but Trump Trump Trump. White is black, night is day, truth is faux news, faux news is truth. You can scarcely believe this is happening, but wait, the next episode is already rolling. Indictments are rolling in, heads are rolling out, the Secretary of Something was fired yesterday and the new one is sworn in. More lies! More bullying! More threats! More firings! The cast of characters changes weekly and Trump Trump Trump claims he thrives on chaos, loves it, wouldn’t have it any other way.

The screws are tightening, the Mueller investigation is closing in, the associates and colleagues are singing like canaries to escape long prison terms, lawsuits are being filed to shut up the porn stars, how do you top yesterday’s episode??? Who is writing these scripts? Trump Trump Trump. What will we do when his show is canceled? What on earth will we do??? What stupid reality show can possibly take its place???

Stormy Daniels is a Russian spy mistress intent on destroying the United States of America. If you don’t believe it, ask yourself this: why did Trump fire the Secretary of State on the morning when Stormy Natasha Fatale’s ultimatum to the President that he accept the $130,000 hush money or Else ??? She and her attorney Boris Badanov aka Michael Avenatti have vowed to speak publicly on her yearlong affair with the Donald unless he takes back the slush money paid out by Trump’s own attorney, purportedly without his knowledge, who was merely trying to protect his friend from further shame and castigation shortly after the then candidate’s admission of groping women. To prevent that deadline from becoming the day’s headline, the President diverted the mainstream press’s attention by firing Rex Tillerson via Tweet. Mr. Tillerson had made the mistake a few months ago of calling the President a ‘fucking moron’, definitely fake news to serious journalists on Fox and Friends. Additionally Tillerson had agreed with the prime minister of England that Russia was behind the poisonings of a double agent and his daughter. Adios, Rex!

Obviously Stormy Daniels is a Russian operative, bent on destroying the good name of Donald Trump by disclosing what may seem obvious to the New York Times and the alphabet media, but has been denied repeatedly by the White House press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, even if she did let slip that this affair had been litigated previously in the President’s favor. Stormy and her friend (and probable spy) Playboy model Karen McDougal, each claim to have had sexual affairs with the Commander-in-Chief, even suggesting he invited them to participate in a menage-a-trois. What this hints at is that the two women may also be engaged in a double operation with a definite French connection. Quelle Tristesse! So sad!!

Today the President himself filed a lawsuit against Ms. Daniels for $20 million for violating the non-disclosure contract for the affair he claims he never had with Stormy D. I-never-had-sex-with-that-woman —– sounds vaguely familiar. Nearly half of Republicans polled this week believe the President has been faithful to his wives. 2% of Democrats believed he was faithful. This may tell us more about the GOP’s notion of ‘faithful’ than it does about the Donald’s illicit affairs. Apparently a non-disclosure contract with hush money negates an actual sexual act by a married man. Read the small print, I guess. Yesterday Stormy opened a crowd-funding site to help her with the $130,000 she’ll lose if she tells all to the press. She hit that mark in less than 24 hours. You know, and I know, the Russians donated the money. Quelle Tristesse!! Let’s see if they’ll pony up the 20 million. Or was that the gold bullion shipment that fell off the plane in Yakutsk yesterday? Coincidence? You be the judge.