Donald Trump is signing Bibles now. Why not? The man\u2019s favorite book is the Bible, he famously said back before he ascended his current throne. When asked which one, he looked like a possum in the headlights of a tractor trailer, but when it was made clear the interrogator was interested which Testament he preferred, the Old or the New, he said he loved them both. His favorite passage, in case you\u2019re interested, was the one with an \u2018eye for an eye\u2019. When Mueller is done with him, he may want to find a less vengeful verse.<\/p>\n
When I was a kid, I tried reading the Good Book which is actually not a good read. After discovering in my Sunday School class that the thing was edited, well, that finished me on reading clear to the end, which meant I missed the good part when the editors got to Revelation. But even as a kid I thought if folks were taking a chapter from the Dead Sea Scrolls and throwing out the rest, maybe some text from Matthew or Mark, fiddling with the order, translating it into a King Jim version, what was I supposed to think? Obviously God didn\u2019t write it and Jesus didn\u2019t either, judging from the fact that his troops took turns. And okay, maybe the Holy Ghost could’ve, but I sorta doubted it. <\/p>\n
In fifth grade Georgia elementary my teacher made us take turns picking a verse out of the Bible and reading it aloud to the rest of us penitants right after the Pledge of Allegiance. When my turn came I read the verse, \u2018Jesus wept\u2019, shortest verse in the Bible. Mrs. Abercrombie was furious. She asked me if I thought I was being funny, which I said I was not, just brief, and that got me sent me to the principal\u2019s office. The principal sat me down and asked me if I thought I was being funny. I said I was just reading a verse. A short verse. Then he told me nobody liked a smartass. Which is not actually true. Lots of folks like a smartass. I myself like smartasses, especially those who are actually funny. I\u2019ll take funny about anytime in this mean old world.<\/p>\n
He told me again nobody likes a smartass. And I was a definitely a smartass. Worse, although he didn\u2019t say it, I was a Yankee smartass. The worst kind, at least in Georgia. Donald Trump wouldn\u2019t know funny if it bit him on his fat ass. He\u2019s not funny because not only isn\u2019t he a smartass, he\u2019s actually a dumbass. I don\u2019t know if Trump has read the Bible or if he might even think he wrote the thing. He probably thinks the chapter Trump is right after Leviticus. Me, I think it\u2019s right after Revelations. Course, I\u2019m just a smartass.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Donald Trump is signing Bibles now. Why not? The man\u2019s favorite book is the Bible, he famously said back before he ascended his current throne. When asked which one, he looked like a possum in the headlights of a tractor trailer, but when it was made clear the interrogator was interested which Testament he preferred, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[6],"tags":[1610,1608,1609],"class_list":["post-11208","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rantings-and-ravings","tag-sunday-school-in-america","tag-the-bible-by-trump","tag-the-good-book"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11208","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11208"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11208\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11210,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11208\/revisions\/11210"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11208"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11208"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11208"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}