So a duck walks into a drugstore, picks up a box of Trojans and walks to the counter with it under his wing. The pharmacist rings up his purchase and asks, \u2018you want me to put this on your bill?\u2019 The duck, aghast, quacks, \u2018I\u2019m not that kind of duck!!\u2019<\/p>\n
So I\u2019m walking into my own local drugstore and this kid and his girlfriend are palavering in the aisle I\u2019m walking by. She\u2019s crowbarred into torn designer jeans that must cost a hundred bucks and he looks like he shops Goodwill. \u2018How would I know where to find them?\u2019 she asks the boy, \u2018I don\u2019t shop here.\u2019 At which point I leave eavesdropping range, get what I came for and head back up to the checkout line. The girlfriend is waiting some ways away, but says, loud enough for everyone to hear, \u2018I\u2019m not going to stand there too. You can do it by yourself.\u2019<\/p>\n
I queue up with the lad who has a package of Trojan condoms in his mitt and we\u2019re behind two elderly ladies who are waiting for their turn at the register. It becomes a long wait, but finally the two women move to their respective registers and finally I say to the kid, \u201cya know \u2026<\/p>\n
when I was about your age I went into a pharmacy to buy prophylactics for the first time. You had to ask the pharmacist for them back then, didn\u2019t want to leave them out for the prurient public. I was a little nervous, being a kid, so I asked the druggist for Trojans, just like you got right there, and the guy asks, \u2018what size?\u2019 Geez, what size? Not something I counted on, I guess figuring one size fits all or something, but finally I mumble, \u2018I don\u2019t know, mediums, I guess.\u2019 \u2018Naw,\u2019 he says, \u2018what size box, a dozen or what?\u2019<\/p>\n
I\u2019m sure the guy pulled that on every underage kid who bought his first condoms from that store, probably howled with his buddies every time too.\u201d My kid gives out a nervous little chuckle, not quite sure what to make of this old geezer telling his story, but he\u2019s saved when the counterguy says Next. On the way out of the store, reunited with his girlfriend, I\u2019m wondering if he\u2019ll maybe tell her he bought the condoms but forgot to check what size, see maybe if she\u2019d fall for it. Naw, I think maybe he had other things on his mind\u2026.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So a duck walks into a drugstore, picks up a box of Trojans and walks to the counter with it under his wing. The pharmacist rings up his purchase and asks, \u2018you want me to put this on your bill?\u2019 The duck, aghast, quacks, \u2018I\u2019m not that kind of duck!!\u2019 So I\u2019m walking into my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[6],"tags":[1837,1838],"class_list":["post-11584","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rantings-and-ravings","tag-drugstore-comedian","tag-pharmicist-pranks"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11584","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11584"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11584\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11585,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11584\/revisions\/11585"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11584"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11584"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11584"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}