So I\u2019m heading to Alaska — with the flu that dropped me to both knees the day before — and I\u2019m admittedly not at 100% when I go through security at South End International.\u00a0 Full body X-rays now, bag checks for medium size toothpastes and shampoos.\u00a0 No underwear packing terrorist is getting through this gauntlet, allah akbar!\u00a0 There must be at least 10 TSA agents to every passenger.
\nI unbuckle, empty pockets, unshoe, de-hat, pass the breathalyzer, tell them who won the Series last October and get passed on to my gate terminal.\u00a0 I\u2019m in a fog and a fever and a funk.\u00a0 \u201cGood day,\u201d as Chief Joseph or Sitting Bull or some luckless upstart indigenous said, \u201cto fly.\u201d\u00a0 Alaska.\u00a0 Winter.\u00a0 Glacial.\u00a0 Just what the doctor ordered for a rough bout of the flu.
\nAt my gate I realize I have everything but my winter coat.\u00a0 It had apparently not come off the scanner conveyor and I hadn\u2019t waited to see if it was being rescanned or donated to the nearest Goodwill.\u00a0 Alaska.\u00a0 With no coat.\u00a0 The flu.\u00a0 With no coat.
\nI had time to go back on the train, walk up the stairways, hurry down a few corridors and see what TSA had done with my coat, no problem, I was sure.\u00a0 Except TSA didn\u2019t have it.\u00a0 They gave me a Lost and Found slip and said they\u2019d gladly ship it to me if and when it turned up.\u00a0 They\u2019d even ship to Alaska, they said, no charge.\u00a0 Can you say hypothermia?\u00a0 I felt like the trapper who falls through thin ice in subzero weather and no matches for fire.
\nAlthough the gift shops sell sweatshirts and matching scarves.\u00a0 Maybe buy two, layer up, look for a genuine bear fur Inuit eskimo parka up in the Anchorage outfitters\u2019 supply tomorrow morning.\u00a0 Keep the rental car heater maxed and running, I\u2019d be okay.\u00a0 The homeless do it every day.\u00a0 The Occupy crowd up there might scrounge me up a tent and a coat.\u00a0 I\u2019d be fine.\u00a0 Really.\u00a0 Like that kid in \u201cInto the Wild\u201d who just launches off into the tundra, no clues, just learn on the job.
\nCourse he didn\u2019t have the flu.\u00a0 Or chills and fever to begin with.\u00a0\u00a0 In the end he died.\u00a0 Then again, he was a city kid.\u00a0 Crazy to boot.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019ll be just fine.\u00a0 Don\u2019t worry about me.\u00a0 Really.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So I\u2019m heading to Alaska — with the flu that dropped me to both knees the day before — and I\u2019m admittedly not at 100% when I go through security at South End International.\u00a0 Full body X-rays now, bag checks for medium size toothpastes and shampoos.\u00a0 No underwear packing terrorist is getting through this gauntlet, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1269","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rantings-and-ravings"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1269","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1269"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1269\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1270,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1269\/revisions\/1270"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1269"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1269"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1269"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}