I know plenty of folks who go to South End Investment Strategies, our local fiscal advisory firm, for advice on how to keep their moderate pot of money ahead of inflation. Randy Sparks is their guy, actually the only guy down at South End Investment Strategies ever since he hung a shingle on his office which is a small addition off his home south of the long vacant Tyee Store. No doubt the store owners neglected to consult Randy. Ever since that Ponzi scheme of Harmon\u2019s back in the 80\u2019s here on the island, the largest Ponzi in U.S. history up til then, where unsuspecting Chapel members fell for promises of 20% or better earnings on their retirement savings, folks have been a great deal more circumspect about handing over their money to possible con artists. <\/p>\n
Plenty of folks risked their life savings on that one, but memories are short down here apparently, judging by the steady clientele Randy gets. If anyone was worried about being taken to the cleaners by their financial advisor, Randy\u2019s office and his house too would instantly allay all fears. Pretty obviously Randy\u2019s not getting rich off his clients. Course, he\u2019s apparently not getting rich on his own expertise either.<\/p>\n
Down at the Diner he\u2019s forever trying to drum up business, but most of us coffee guzzlers aren\u2019t much interested in his early morning fiduciary wisdom. \u201cGeez,\u201d he\u2019s telling one of the Flatheads, our antique car guyz, \u201cif you sold the \u201957 T-bird for 50 grand and invested it in some hot commodities I\u2019ve got an inside track on, you could double your money in no time flat. Whaddaya say?\u201d<\/p>\n
What they all say is, gee, Randy, we got a sweet nest egg, fat pensions, nice houses and a couple more vintage cars to drive around like Kings of the Road, why gamble when we already won the Lottery? Randy can\u2019t understand why anyone, rich or not, wouldn\u2019t jump both feet on the chance to be even richer. He asked me one day after the gas guzzlers had left a cloud of dust in the parking lot and tips on their tables, \u201cwhat kind of Americans are these guyz with a chance to be even richer? Almost guaranteed! And they\u2019re not the least bit interested.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAmericans?\u201d I asked. \u201cHell, Randy, we\u2019re South Enders. We live in a fool\u2019s paradise. Mostly retired. Driving the cars we drove as hormonal teenagers. You think we care about money? Now, if you could offer us a date with the Prom Queen, you might stand half a chance.\u201d<\/p>\n
Randy shook his head. \u201cI\u2019m offering investments, Skeeter, not Viagra.\u201d When he left, he dropped a couple of coins for a tip, not exactly hot.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I know plenty of folks who go to South End Investment Strategies, our local fiscal advisory firm, for advice on how to keep their moderate pot of money ahead of inflation. Randy Sparks is their guy, actually the only guy down at South End Investment Strategies ever since he hung a shingle on his office […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[6],"tags":[7376,7374,7375],"class_list":["post-19253","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rantings-and-ravings","tag-ponzi-scheme-on-camano-island","tag-red-hot-investment-tips","tag-south-end-investment-strategies"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19253","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=19253"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19253\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19254,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19253\/revisions\/19254"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=19253"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=19253"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=19253"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}