We had some mail theft recently. My neighbor Erich was vacationing with the family in some exotic place \u2013 Smokey Point, I think maybe it was \u2013 and I was feeding the cats, checking the mail, doing what neighbors usually do when friends go away. My neighbors across the street even mow each other\u2019s grass, but they don\u2019t have the estate Erich does and I suppose I could make excuses, but hellfire, I was feeding his cussed cats and picking up his bills \u2013 you expect me to pay em too????
\nOkay okay. After a few days of emptying the mailbox, you get to know a person pretty good, sort of an unpaid private eye, seeing what bills come from who, what associations they belong to, what magazines they get, what charities they contribute to, all that personal stuff. You can learn a lot \u2013NOT that I\u2019m analyzing their buying habits, their credit card information, their giving trends, their collection agencies, the nasty threats they get; no, I\u2019m just picking it up and hiding it where snoopy folks, TOO inquisitive folks won\u2019t find it and make it THEIR business when it isn\u2019t. I mean we used to have privacy laws in this country and I don\u2019t care WHAT the damn government\u2019s doing, I think a person ought to be able to hide his sins from the rest of the nosey neighbors.
\nSo when I get to day 3 and the Collection Agency seems to have given up and the credit card applications have dried up and the charitable organizations have wised up and there\u2019s NO MAIL for 3 straight days, I should\u2019ve known. I should\u2019ve waited by the mailbox in the ditch with all the empty beercans with a sawed off shotgun, cause I should\u2019ve SURMISED some meth dealing crackhead was stealing Erich\u2019s IDENTITY!!<\/p>\n
But I\u2019m happy to say it didn\u2019t ever occur to me and because of that, Erich can thank me because that desperate junkie got more than junk mail, he got all of Erich\u2019s overdue bills and now HE\u2019S stuck with em and he\u2019ll get to pay em off with his ill-gotten drug money and I say justice once again prevailed. So Erich can thank me for bailing him out once again. I just hope next time he doesn\u2019t expect me to mow the lawn too.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
We had some mail theft recently. My neighbor Erich was vacationing with the family in some exotic place \u2013 Smokey Point, I think maybe it was \u2013 and I was feeding the cats, checking the mail, doing what neighbors usually do when friends go away. My neighbors across the street even mow each other\u2019s grass, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4680","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rantings-and-ravings"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4680","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4680"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4680\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4682,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4680\/revisions\/4682"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4680"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4680"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4680"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}