<\/p>\n
Breakfast at the Diner is usually a war zone, but the other day things heated up hotter than Big Larry\u2019s grill sizzling with 10 pounds of bacon. Jimmy the Geek mentioned that his mizzus had heard Pastor Paul down at the Little Church in the Ravine preaching that Christmas was under attack. Walter chimed right in. \u201cYou can\u2019t even say Merry Christmas now,\u201d he declared to everyone in the place. \u201cStarbucks gives you a red cup, no words, they\u2019s so %#@>&* politically correct. It makes me want to puke.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSettle down, Walter,\u201d Anita warned him as she refilled his coffee. \u201cWe don\u2019t have anything written on our cups either.\u201d Two Toke, ever happy to tweak Walter, asked him when he last went to Starbucks. \u201cI thought you were boycotting the Yuppies, Walt.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou bet I am! This mud in a mug is all I need,\u201d he declared, brandishing his cup like the gun he carried with his concealed permit. Walter\u2019s ready for battle, trust me.<\/p>\n
Down here in Holiday Central, the South End, we love Christmas. We love muzak, we can\u2019t get enough of month-long advertising, we feed like candy canes on Bing Crosby and another viewing of It\u2019s a Wonderful Life. We practically dress in tinsel and we don\u2019t care who\u2019s naughty or nice. Christmas! Most of us leave the strings of colored LED bulbs draped on the gutters and eaves all year round. So when we hear there\u2019s a war on Christmas, you better believe we get up in arms, concealed carry or not. What Grinch wants to ruin our party? we asked ourselves. Couldn\u2019t be WalMart. Couldn\u2019t be the Little Chapel. Couldn\u2019t be TV and their sponsors. Who would want to kill our buzz? Who hates Christmas???<\/p>\n
Two Toke said even the South End Greenworks was in full holiday hype, selling faux mistletoe bundles of thai sticks. Flathead Fred\u2019s mizzus had stood in line Thanksgiving midnight waiting for shopping sales at Elger Bay Store\u2019s Black Friday super sale. Flathead avowed that if there was a war on Christmas he sure didn\u2019t see one. Walter shouted \u201cOpen your eyes, Fred! The government hates Christmas!!\u201d<\/p>\n
Well, we boys at the Diner must be conscientious objectors, cause we couldn\u2019t see a skirmish, much less find that war. Tyee Megastore is open early and closing late. Our stockings are hung with care as always, it\u2019s snowing once again in Bedford and Jimmy Stewart isn\u2019t going to kill himself this year either. Down here on the South End we\u2019re all dreaming of a White One. The rest of you, take cover!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Breakfast at the Diner is usually a war zone, but the other day things heated up hotter than Big Larry\u2019s grill sizzling with 10 pounds of bacon. Jimmy the Geek mentioned that his mizzus had heard Pastor Paul down at the Little Church in the Ravine preaching that Christmas was under attack. Walter chimed […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7095","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rantings-and-ravings"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7095","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7095"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7095\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7096,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7095\/revisions\/7096"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7095"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7095"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.skeeterdaddle.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7095"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}