The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

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When you read in your newsfeeds that the Russian people are under the impression that the so-called war in Ukraine is really an intervention to save the Ukrainians from the Nazi government that subjugates them, you might wonder how it is, in this Information Age, how misinformed they can be. Granted, the Russians pretty much control the news outlets and if you were to say the intervention was really an invasion, well, good luck to you, Comrade, in your new home at the gulag. The internet still works, the truth is actually out there, available at the click of a computer, a little curiosity might uncover the facts.

But no, the Russians are like us, intellectually lazy, gullible as folks who send money to help Nigerian princes and altogether more interested in stories that feed their gripes and grievances. Those damn Ukrainians, discriminating against Russian speaking citizens, preventing them from rejoining the Soviet Union. One of the tenets of democracy we used to be taught in grade school was that we all have the right to express our opinion. So be it. But let’s agree that not all opinions are equal and some are undeserving of respect.

Bill Gates gave a speech the other day saying he was surprised, surprised!, that people would accuse him of creating vaccines that are dangerous and deadly. He argued that his vaccines had saved countless thousands of lives. What the ….? he wondered. You can still hear folks out there in the hinterlands of talk radio screaming for Fauci to be locked him. Or worse. If the mobs can call for the heads of people who have dedicated a goodly part of their lives and money toward helping mankind, what do you think they would do to you when they come looking for new culprits, fresh scapegoats and more targets for their rage.

Ignorance might be bliss, but not to those around the ones whose beliefs are based on mumbo jumbo and hot meat politics. Keep an eye on them, they’re arming themselves with pitchforks and AK-47’s. And one of our political parties seems to be encouraging them….

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Some of the boyz down at the Marina got to talking about that Ma Day Studio Art Tour that’s been building steam since before the turn of the century, hauling traffic in for 14 years and now has expanded not just to 3 days instead of the original 2, but 2 weekends instead of 1. Before long, Cap’n Jack worried, it’ll become the Mother’s Day to Father’s Day Art Tour, an entire month of traffic backed up from the South End Diner to the Stanwoodopolis freeway exit, all those art lovers and their U-Hauls for carrying back their purchases to Bellevue, Seattle and beyond. They remember when the Tulip Festival was just a small bulb in the imagination of the growers …. before cars eventually outnumbered the flowers. And it makes em nervous.

It should! The South End Economic Development Council holds secret meetings at ReFlux Realty, scheming to sell properties to art aficionados who, in turn, will become artists themselves in the primordial paint soup of the South End, buy easels and brushes, learn raku, break glass and build stained glass panels, sculpt auto wreckage and ultimately double, triple, who knows, the size of the Tour. It’s a self-replicating Beast. And when they all begin to starve through overpopulation, they’ll still need to pay those mortgages on their dream studios. The only other ‘jobs’ here, of course, are real estate agents. So the vicious circle completes itself. More artists, more art, more wannabees, more starvation, more real estate agents, more sales, prices rise, properties subdivide, underwater mortgages swell …. and so the bubble becomes bigger than the egoes of the artists who planned this Tour back in the 90’s.

Some of the Marina layabouts wanted to stop this in its tracks before there was no turning back. Keep the missuz from going studio to studio Mother’s Day weekend. Course, the Tour was planned from the Get-Go to be their default escape from marital duties. Let Ma go traipsing through the art while they’d watch some ballgames. And now, 14 years later, they’re only starting to realize the true price of their mistake. Too late, guyz!! Way too late now!

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Education? We don’t need your stinking education!

See Dick. See Dick Run. See Jane. See Jane Run. You probably remember that first reader you had. Two white kids, Dick and Jane. Heterosexuals. Last thing you’d want is for your kids to see one of those children as a minority. Or a person with a disability. Or … god forbid, a person who wasn’t a Christian. Boy, howdy, me neither! What is this country coming to when we can indoctrinate our youth with woke notions and I’m not really sure what woke means. No sir, let the Texas book companies purify our textbooks, let them do their job and for god sake, keep liberals teachers from making our kids uncomfortable teaching history that suggests this country did anything, even one single thing, wrong.

In fact, defund the schools! You heard me, do what these snowflakes want to do with the police. Our taxes are going toward paying commie pinko libtard so-called educators to indoctrinate our children. So what if the Supreme Court has declared LGBT sinners have equal rights? Doesn’t mean we have to teach it. Hard to believe they let these sodomites into a class with our own kids, no doubt for grooming future pederasts and cannibals. Shouldn’t even let the children of Democrats in a classroom with our own wholesome sons and daughters. No wonder half of us want to homeschool, about the only way we can insure our progeny aren’t propagandized … or worse!

We didn’t get racism shoved down our throats when we went to school. We didn’t have teachers who questioned the values of the greatest country in the world. In all the history of the world! No sir, we got the 3 R’s, reading, righting and racism, we turned out just fine without all the touchy-feely anti-religious crap they foist on kids these days. Stand up for parents’ rights, dammit, before they brainwash all your kids. And be sure to vote for Republicans. They love children and believe me, they don’t eat them.

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My neighbor was over at the little park we caretake across the island when he saw a woman drive up to the library in the 60’s phone booth and proceed to take down the sign that hung there that read LITTLE LIBRARY. He figured she must’ve thought since the books were free, maybe the signs were too. But he decided to pull out his phone and photograph the woman as well as her license plate and car. Right, like the Island County deputies are going to track the thief down using all the information they need.

My neighbor hasn’t had much experience with the sheriff’s office. But I have. No, not what you’re thinking. I mean, okay, I’m not totally law abiding, don’t really follow the county regulations all the time, but hey, I try to do the right thing, don’t hurt anybody and hope that in the end, well, judgement won’t be too harsh. Me and the sheriff’s department, let’s just say I’ve reported a couple three sculptures stolen at this same park and about 25,000 dollars worth of a decommissioned bronze sculpture stolen down at Freedom Park at Terry’s Corner behind the also decommissioned Visitor Center we built for the Chamber of Commerce and yeah, I’m still pissed off that they rented it, the Chamber cheeseballs.

But I digress. The deputies at the sheriff’s office declined to take a report on the purloined artworks because, get this, I didn’t own the property. I said we all own the property, it’s county, same as you. They said uh-uh, no deed of ownership, no report. Trying another tack, I said I’m the contractor for the Visitor Center, how about that? And I’m the caretaker for the park. They shook their heads sadly, said it was out of their hands.

So you can imagine how likely they would take a statement about a stolen library sign worth about two bucks from some yahoo who claims he’s the librarian. In the end, however, a few days after my neighbor had collected all the evidence the FBI and a SWAT team would need, the sign shows back up, repainted and replaced neatly where it had been.

If there’s a moral to this story — and if you know me, morals always seem to be lacking, after all, I’m an artist — it’s that you should never trust your own eyes, at least sometimes anyway. But we might trust our fellow islanders. At least some of the time….

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Mickey Mouse vs. Florida GOP

We all grew up with Disney. Mickey Mouse, the Mouseketeers, dead Bambi, Snow White, Fantasia, Pinocchio, Dumbo … Disney has been a part of the American landscape most of our lives. They’re mom and apple pie and unabashed wholesomeness that cloys in some of our hearts, but c’mon, give Walt some credit, he created Donald Duck and Epcot Center, Magic Mountain and Minnie. He was the ultimate capitalist cartoonist, bar none. You might think the Republican Party would celebrate him, probably revere him.

But not these days. Corporate Disney, usually averse to political anything, had the temerity to stand up for gay rights. What’s next, the Florida GOP probably wondered, support for civil rights too? These are partisan times indeed if the Republicans think Mickey Mouse is a threat to American Values. Mississippi next door is celebrating Confederate Heritage Month for crying out loud and here’s Walt and associates supporting gays and trans and probably blacks too. It’s too much! It’s an assault on all that’s holy in the gator state. Take your damn Goofy and Dumbo to a blue state, you pinko swine! Florida is for rednecks and conspiracy theorists and MAGA lovers … and home to the real President of the United States down there in Mar-a-Lago. They don’t need California liberalist propaganda at Disney World and Disney World don’t need any more tax breaks from the crackers in the Florida legislature!

This is what the culture wars have come to, a frontal assault on our collective childhoods! You call Mickey a gay loving commie, you got trouble, Mister! Right there in River City! Capitol T, Rhymes with P and stands for Prejudice. It may be time to stand up to these self-righteous bigots once and for all, I don’t care if they do have Dumbo for a governor. Don’t mess with Mickey if you know what’s good for you. And I suspect you don’t.

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