The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

My neighbor was over at the little park we caretake across the island when he saw a woman drive up to the library in the 60’s phone booth and proceed to take down the sign that hung there that read LITTLE LIBRARY. He figured she must’ve thought since the books were free, maybe the signs were too. But he decided to pull out his phone and photograph the woman as well as her license plate and car. Right, like the Island County deputies are going to track the thief down using all the information they need.

My neighbor hasn’t had much experience with the sheriff’s office. But I have. No, not what you’re thinking. I mean, okay, I’m not totally law abiding, don’t really follow the county regulations all the time, but hey, I try to do the right thing, don’t hurt anybody and hope that in the end, well, judgement won’t be too harsh. Me and the sheriff’s department, let’s just say I’ve reported a couple three sculptures stolen at this same park and about 25,000 dollars worth of a decommissioned bronze sculpture stolen down at Freedom Park at Terry’s Corner behind the also decommissioned Visitor Center we built for the Chamber of Commerce and yeah, I’m still pissed off that they rented it, the Chamber cheeseballs.

But I digress. The deputies at the sheriff’s office declined to take a report on the purloined artworks because, get this, I didn’t own the property. I said we all own the property, it’s county, same as you. They said uh-uh, no deed of ownership, no report. Trying another tack, I said I’m the contractor for the Visitor Center, how about that? And I’m the caretaker for the park. They shook their heads sadly, said it was out of their hands.

So you can imagine how likely they would take a statement about a stolen library sign worth about two bucks from some yahoo who claims he’s the librarian. In the end, however, a few days after my neighbor had collected all the evidence the FBI and a SWAT team would need, the sign shows back up, repainted and replaced neatly where it had been.

If there’s a moral to this story — and if you know me, morals always seem to be lacking, after all, I’m an artist — it’s that you should never trust your own eyes, at least sometimes anyway. But we might trust our fellow islanders. At least some of the time….

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