Back in the USSR

Welcome back, intrepid readers! I know a few of you are wondering if Skeeter managed to marry those two women down in California and set them on a path to either happiness or divorce … so let me assure those who were left back in Episode 9 with this cliffhanger, yup, I shepherded them through the legalities, waxed a little philosophic (I was, after all, the clergy) and signed the binding contracts for the State of California.

Okay, so I got to the wedding half an hour late when traffic on the Bay Bridge crawled to a stop, but hell, Putin made Trump wait an hour. Folks had to wait — after all the Reverend wasn’t there yet. And if the brides weren’t nervous before, trust me, they were by the time I waltzed into an auditorium with 150 people fidgeting in their uncomfortable folding chairs, most of them a bit perplexed by the composting cowboy hat and Carhartt denims, open shirt and dirty shoes, all set off nicely by a silk scarf of stained glass design needlework and fabric made by one of the brides-to-be.

And yeah, all right, I screwed up the beginning of the processional, then had to start all over. They cut off my microphone mid homily and sure, things looked grim, but we settled in and I only goofed up 3 or 4 more times before I announced them woman and wife, or … well, … you and the 150 others, we all know what I meant.

So … maybe we can resume our lives now, get back to the Donald Trump Reality Show and try to avoid further tangentials. Like love. Or marriage. Or all those so-much-less-important things than politics. Unfortunately for me — and for you readers — I have friends coming to go crabbing, I’m heading to the Mississippi River for a Huck Finn excursion with my brother and 95 year old dad, then I have to curate a fine art craft show. All this will distract me from the Trumpster at least a month. There’s always MSNBC and Fox if you need a vein pumped full of venom, but I’ll need methadone to ward off withdrawal.

Nevertheless, it’s good to be home, back, it looks like, in the USSR.

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2 Responses to “Back in the USSR”

  1. jb Says:

    Well, at least no one turned the lights off on you–like Kelly did to trump. Did anyone video the debacle, I mean ceremony?

  2. skeeter Says:

    I can only hope no one captured the kodak moment…

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