Kanye West and the Emperor of Ice Cream
My old man asked me what I thought of that guy who came to the White House the other day. ‘You mean Kanye West?’ I asked, full knowing he had no idea who Kanye West was other than some black dude wearing a MAGA ballcap who got the full royal treatment from the President. My dad is 95, a Fox News junkie, but not really a rap aficionado. He couldn’t make heads or tails of this Kanye guy dropping F-bombs in the White House and hugging the Commander-in-Chief like he was his best friend.
‘Weird’, he muttered. I mean, after all, this was after Hurricane Michael, the 3rd most powerful hurricane to hit an American coast in a hundred years, had leveled entire towns and cut off tens of thousands of citizens from civilization without water or power or food or communication, another Great Job, Brownie moment for the Trump. Priorities, I guess.
It’s been, as my old man sez, a weird week. Kavanaugh confirmed and seated, Melania claims she doesn’t buy rumors of affairs with those women, the Washington Post reporter Khashoggi was killed and diced into suitcase sized chunks by the Saudis in Turkey, the U.N. issued a dire warning for the world concerning the threat of global warming, the stock market went into a two day free fall and Trump attacked the Fed chairman who he appointed. Weird week, weird year, weird America. I’m used to it, you’re used to it, we’re all used to it. We’re probably, without being aware of it, addicted to it. What if — and I know you can’t imagine it now — we had a news cycle, a full 24 hours, an eternity in this future shocked world, without a headline (genital)-grabbing pronouncement from the White House?
What if all we had was sports and weather reports? Would we tune our radio to music? Would we go back to soap operas instead of Fox and CNN? Would we start drinking early in the morning? Could we live with the boredom????
I heard a rumor that the Kanye West bromance was nothing but a prelude to the Trump News Network, the TV network Donald would launch after he declines to run for a second term, figuring that would be more fun than governance. Kanye, of course, would get a starring role as entertainment mogul. I mentioned this to my old man and he laughed out loud. ‘That’s ridiculous,’ he said. I said I agreed. I give it 50-50.
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Tags: Kanye pledges allegiance, Trump Television Network, TTN
Trump News Network? Way to send a shiver up our spines Skeeter.
What would you think of a prototype TNN newsroom as a 2018 Halloween Haunted House? Play continuous recordings of Trump speeches, interviews, and announcements. Add correspondent Sarah Palin into the mix, and it should scare the bejeebers out of anyone who hasn’t yet had their brain devoured by meandering zombies, turned loose on All Hallows’ Eve.
Obviously you are a sadistic and cruel person, but these are mean and barbarous times so yeah, why not? I suspect we could spice it up with Stormy Daniels videos of spanking the boy on his bare ass with a Time magazine with his picture on the cover if you really care to traumatize America’s youth. And interspersed with that pastor praying over DJT after his release from Turkey with a smarmy shot of his holiness, Pence, offering silent benediction, well, if The Exorcist sent susceptible kids to psychiatrists, think what this little horror show would induce. But maybe this is going too far, an affront to all common decency, a monstrous atrocity played as sick comedy?? Naw … it sounds right for this Halloween, doesn’t it?
Yes, admittedly, there’s an inherent element of cruelty built into the idea of a Trump Haunted House. But as long as the kids aren’t locked into cages, I think it might pass in In The Year Of Our Despair 2018 as both entertainment (Republicans) and a learning experience (Democrats).
Sorry parents, kids only! Show us your papers at the door. No I.D.? Thats OK, turn left at the end of the long hall.