Reparations for Trump
I know a lot of you snowflakes out there on the hinterlands of the South End would like to give reparations for slavery. I get it. Of course we don’t have any descendants of slaves living on the South End, but your bleeding heart is in the right place. You, like me, probably feel guilty we don’t have people of color living down here, this being practically the white bread bastion of the island. Sure, we let Hispanics drive in for the day. Somebody’s got to mow our lawns and trim our hedges. Geez, you think our own kids are going to do that? Or us???
But while you’re emoting like crazy for the sins of our great great great great grandfathers, those genetic creeps who bought and sold human beings for fun and profit, how about a remorse or two for a real victim, the President. The guy has been under siege for three long years, subjected to the water torture of the Mueller investigation in which he declared himself totally exonerated. But what about the mental price the poor man paid? The sleepless nights, the friends who were unjustly indicted and convicted, the embarrassment of those porn star pay-offs, the judgement of Melania, the constant harassment to see his tax records, the scrutiny of his real estate empire, the whining about emoluments … and now an impeachment hearing in the House. Hasn’t the guy suffered enough?
Maybe, just maybe, a little compassion is in order here. Obviously he doesn’t need fiscal reparations. I mean, the man is a billionaire. Money means nothing to him. He tells us that every time he gets dinged for diplomats and our own government folks staying at his swank hotels. In fact, he will tell you himself that being president has cost him hundreds of millions of dollars. And he’s fine with that. Doesn’t bother him one bit. It isn’t about the money, he says again and again, it’s about service to the country. Maybe, just maybe, it’s time to pay him back.
So if money won’t make amends, what can a grateful nation offer to a man who has everything? And the answer, good citizens, is another few years in office for the years he lost to those witch hunts. In his own modest way he himself has broached the idea. When his term comes up, just tag on a few extra years as make-up. This would give him the time needed to finish all those programs and projects that were held up by investigations and inquiries and, let’s be honest, just mean-spirited probes by his envious enemies. Time to build the wall, time to get those trade agreements done, time to secure that Syrian oil, time to bring coal back to the heartland, time to get rid of unneeded regulations, time to cut more taxes on the already over-taxed rich. So much work to be done and so little time left. How about it? How about four or five extra years? You know he deserves it. The slaves, c’mon, that was way back when….
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Tags: Pay Back for the Prez, Pity for Trump