Kool-Aid Acid Test

You maybe read about the town that had its water system hacked. Some evil yahoo with a cellphone managed to instruct the city’s system to pump in extra poison, no problem at all for an amateur hacker bent on serious malfeasance. Imagine what the Russians could do if they were bent on an all-out water attack! But nobody thought it was those Russian trollers, they’re a little bizzy sending out misinformation for the right wing networks to pick up and air as if it were the evening news flash.

But … it got me to wondering in all my Covid lockdown spare time, if all these Qanon conspiracy theories weren’t the result of a multi-pronged, nefarious meddling with the water systems of every major city in the Land of the Gullible, Home of the Rumor, by hackers bent on destroying our very sanity, pitting Republicans against Democrats, blacks against whites, Jews against Evangelicals, artists against, well, everybody. Just a few keystrokes and slowly, pitilessly, demonically, the Kool-Aid seeps its poison into the chlorinated water of Chicago, the lead contaminated water of Detroit, the pesticide fouled agua of Los Angeles, the industrial soup of New Orleans and all the other cities across this once great land. Only the plastic bottle addicted citizens would be unaffected. At first. But who knows where that water in those polycarbonate containers came from. Not secret mineral springs from the caves of France, bet your butt on that. No, more probably they come from Kansas City, San Francisco, Philadelphia. They come contaminated with the same Kool-Aid toxin!!!

At first I thought I was safe. Our well water comes from one hundred feet below ground. We’re not on a community well with its simple controls any sixth grader could probably hack. No sir, pure, unadulterated, clear H20 from the bosom of the island, same aquifer as the neighbors. But then I noticed the neighbor’s sign still up TRUMP 2020. And another. TRUMP 2024. And just up the road STOP THE STEAL! And that’s when I realized anyone could slip into our wellhouses, dump the Kool-Aid and who would know???

I put a lock on the wellhouse door, of course, but now I’m afraid to drink the tap water. All I can say is thank god for beer. And … I notice the cereal is even tasting better these days.

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