thanks, but we’ll pass on the resolutions this year…
Some of the boys down here on the South End were deep into a night of nog over at the Tyee Store and Saloon when the subject of New Year’s Resolutions reared its ugly head. We’d pretty much solved most of the burning issues of the day that Congress can’t or won’t address, and with world peace close at hand and a solution for global economic recovery looming in our fevered LED’s, we naturally turned to self-improvement, the final obstacle to Nirvana.
Self-improvement, in case you’ve never met a dyed-in-the-alpaca-wool South Ender, isn’t high on his Honey-Do List. If it’s on the list at all….. I’m not saying we don’t think we could use some polishing, but all those so-called vices other folks resolve every January One to curb or cut back on or eradicate completely, are those very traits we hold in high esteem. We sure aren’t in any hurry to canonize ourselves. We aren’t aiming for perfection. Okay, maybe we could stand a bit of sprucing up, but we all know what a slippery slope that is. Mabana Mike quit the bottle for 13 weeks two New Years ago and by the 3rd week he was an insufferable convert not only to Sobriety but worse, Piety. Every day was like an AA meeting with Mike and he might as well have started his own church, passed out nicotine patches and offered up 3 more cups of decaf coffee to the gods of abstinence.
No, we decided long ago it’s better to accept our little blemishes and move on the best we can. You live in a Shangri-La-La like we do, you don’t want many more monks claiming blissful enlightenment. Next thing you know hordes of tourists seeking Truth, Wisdom and the South End Way will be clogging our backwash blacktop. Plus, Tyee Store isn’t legally zoned for monasteries or temples. We’ll probably just save everyone the grief and skip the resolutions again this New Year. Good luck, though, to the rest of you….
Hits: 188