Bank of Stanwoodopolis
In the tidal wash of the Silicon Valley Bank debacle, concerned citizens are making a run at our local banks, fearing that the dominoes are falling fast now. Right wing commentators are blaming the woke culture of the SVB, don’t ask me how that might be the underlying cause of a bank’s default when they’re actually due to large investments in long term federal bonds locked in at interest rates pretty low when inflation is driving those rates steadily upward, an awkward moment when investors started pulling out and the bank was forced to sell at losses in the bazillions. Maybe the woke CFO was cow-towing to the Tech Boyz’ interest in promoting trans agendas, but … somehow I doubt it. Personally, and in full disclosure, I didn’t graduate from Wharton with a bizness degree, but I think maybe the Trump administration’s easing of banking guardrails might have been more of a reason than woke cultural concerns. Just saying….
Time maybe to haul down to our own local fiduciaries and relive the runs of the Depression Era, line up at dawn and hope to pull our life savings out before the bank goes into default. No doubt their own woke agenda makes them vulnerable to blatant mismanagement. Not sure what exactly but if you can’t trust the True Conservatives, who can you trust? George Soros? Just because he’s a billionaire? Savvy investors probably should know that their individual accounts are guaranteed by the government up to a quarter of a million bucks, an amount maybe 1% of local depositors have socked away in the Bank of Stanwoodopolis. I guess folks never watched Jimmy Stewart in It’s a Wonderful Life tossing out his own money to nervous citizens to save the bank and of course the town. Where’s Jimmy when we need him?
Jimmy, needless to point out, is a Hollywood creation. Part of the woke culture. Trans, Black Lives Matter, critical race theory, litter boxes in schools. That Hollywood. Time, maybe, to pull your money out of the bank. Before it’s too late. Which is why, in this time of existential fiscal peril, we at the South End Fiduciary Strategies are here to serve a nervous public with creative options for that cash you’ve had the wisdom to withdraw from your local woke banks. No need to bury it in the back yard behind that dead 1967 Chevy van you intend to restore some day or gamble it on cryptocurrencies. At Fiduciary Strategies our team of investment counselors will assist you in low risk, high return monetary tactics guaranteed to weather the turbulent waters of today’s uncertain bank viability and the unsettled equities markets. Stop in today and put your hard earned dollars to work for you, not your woke banker. We might not be Jimmy Stewart but we aren’t Hollywood either. South End Fiduciary Strategies. We’re the team you can trust.
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Tags: Bank Bailouts, Bank Runs, It's a Wonderful Life Part 2, Too Big To Fail