The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

So I’m at an old buddy’s kid’s bar mitzvah reception after the shindig at the synagogue which I skipped, not being a fan of religious ceremonies and not versant in Yiddish. But it’s the kid’s day, he’s 12 and I guess now a confirmed man or adult or, hell, I don’t know, some passage out of childhood celebrated by family and friends. Okay, not by me. I really did not want to come to this thing but my buddy, after my firm rejection, went behind my back to Karen who said okay, which precipitated an argument that ended in a compromise to skip the Temple and show up at the reception. So what if it looks like we came for a free meal and an overdose of this klezmer band they’d hired to annoy the gatherers.

My pal’s mizzus barely spoke to us, no doubt peeved we’d boycotted her boy’s big deal. His brother, a Nobel Prize winner in chemistry, wouldn’t return a hello. Later he asked who the jerk with the hat was and learned the jerk was his brother’s best man at his Chicago wedding to marry the wife who now comes on cold as ice. Sure, I was having a good time.

Klezmer music is the equivalent of Scottish bagpipes, they’re weapons of war, a caterwaul meant to soften the will of the opponent, possibly force an early retreat, probably a route. Karen and I sat by ourselves, me stewing in a slow simmer, hoping for a quick retreat myself. By the third song by the band, I’d pretty much written off my pal. No friendship can survive these insane clarinets!

About then the kid wandered through, an official grown-up now, saying hello to any and all, probably no idea we’d met many times. Don’t ask me why, but for some ungodly reason I asked him what his plans for the future were. Criminey, didn’t we all hate adults asking us that bullshit question?

“I’m going to be an osteopathic surgeon,” he informed me with a certainty that to this day, I have no doubt he did. 12 years old. Jehovah almighty — kids shouldn’t be allowed to grow up that soon, I don’t care what religion you got.

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 30th, 2026 at 2:16 pm and is filed under rantings and ravings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.