new air
I remember — vaguely now — telling folks I wasn’t going to learn how to use a *#@!!?>% computer until they evolved to a simplicity enough to coach me how to use them. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO, SKEETER? it would ask politely. And I would say, oh, let’s check for airline reservations, or why don’t we send my old pard, Guitar Bob, an e-mail? I’LL GET RIGHT ON THAT!! BY THE WAY, DID I MENTION THAT I HAVE A NEW PROGRAM I COULD SHOW YOU … WHEN YOU HAVE THE TIME, MR. DADDLE.
Maybe a decade or so later I could see the mizzus’ computer wasn’t getting simpler. In fact, from my arms’ length analysis, it looked way more complicated. And I was being left farther and farther behind in its rear view mirror as it waved goodbye in its digital little way. What in the hell were Billy Gates and Stevie Jobs doing if they weren’t making this easier for old goats like me and my Jurassic pals?
Looking back, it was like asking my socket wrenches to teach me how to repair a car engine. Tool usage is still dependent on the intelligence of the hominid user. And my computer, seemingly stupid, wasn’t about to run tutorials on raising my IQ. Still won’t. But it will get me to a site that will answer 90% of my questions —- so long as I don’t get philosophical.
My folks are in their 80’s. They’re like me — reluctant newcomers to the Digital Age. Virtually nothing is obvious … or intuitive… or remotely familiar from our previous world. I watched a 2 year old kid with an interactive toy he had, part computer, part CD player. He mastered it in, oh, 30 seconds. He could turn our TV on, change channels, adjust the volume. Two years old. His brain is hardwired to silicon. Mine is mostly plaque.
We will only be visitors to the next Era. We’ve already been relegated to the past by the kids who are connected to a new hive, one that exists beyond our physical world. The Pied Piper has come for the children. We invited him, I guess. Some of us will try to follow too, but we don’t hear the music the same way. What we try to dance to, they simply breathe in. This new music is their air. Me, I’m feeling like I got emphysema.
Hits: 30