Buying the Farm
I went to see an insurance agent recently. I guess I thought maybe I could get some clarification, maybe even a reduction, on premiums. It’s been a few decades since the last time I took a seat across from the desk of my ‘agent’, but it all came flooding back once I’d snagged myself in the web and the spider, waiting all those years, hurried in for the meal.
Insurance! When we owed on the house — okay, the shack — we were required to keep insurance. The cars, well, it’s a steep fine if we don’t keep that up and we’re pulled over by the constabulary. And pretty soon we’ll be looking – again – at health insurance. It’s a dangerous damn world out there. And accidents do happen. I’ve got a buddy who never carried auto insurance. Figured it was a sucker’s game. He had a perfect driving record. He was a cautious driver. He wouldn’t have an accident and if he got fined, well, cheaper than the car premiums.
Course, he finally hit another car, his fault totally, and sent one of the passengers in the other vehicle to intensive care for months. He doesn’t know if she lived or died. Doesn’t know if the family’s lives are ruined. Doesn’t know if their bills got paid. I bet he still thinks insurance is a sucker’s game. Jeez!
Before I could back toward the door of the insurance agent’s office, I’m looking at an Umbrella Policy, a combo deal with the house and auto that reduces one by 17% and the other by 25% and an aoffer of a gizmo that attaches to the car’s computer to analyze our driving skills with the promise of a 5% discount and free year’s membership in a GPS-driven motor assistance program. I think supersized fries came with it and a toy from the latest blockbuster movie for kids. Numbers flew, statistics sailed, money was up, then down, calculations were reappraised, the room and my head were spinning….
Last thing I thought I heard as I stumbled for the exit was a policy to cover nursing care and then the cremation, 33% off if me and mizzus agreed to burn together. I was thinking it sounded like the right thing to do. Fortunately it needed both our signatures … and the mizzus plans to outlive me by a long time. Me, I’m about ready for the Farm. And I sure don’t mean State Farm.
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Oh you reviewed your visit to the insurance company so well. They might as well turn you up side down, making sure that they have emptied your pockets..corporate disgust!