Snow Goose Introduction for the ‘Skeeter Daddle Blues’ Reading
The first book I ever published, the mega-selling ‘Skeeter Daddle Diaries’, I got some advice from a friend who convinced me, against my better judgement, I needed to Step Up my promotional skills and get myself an account with Amazon. Not being real tuned into what Amazon was, I hemmed and I hawed, but eventually my buddy convinced me to at least try it, see what it would do for me and my budding literary career.
So I went Online with Amazon, filled out their complicated forms, signed their many contractual arrangements, sold off paternity rights to my firstborn children and got ready for some serious BookSelling. A couple e-mails down the road, I was informed my book was in their index, photo of the cover was up and running, even had a pithy description I’d been kind enough to offer. A day later they informed me I could send a copy to their warehouse, across the country, West Virginia maybe. One copy………..
I guessed they maybe were hedging their bets on a blockbuster best seller right off the Get-Go. That, or they were shuffling the shelves of the warehouse to make room for the Skeeter Daddle Diaries, you know, downsize the number of Da Vinci Codes and the biographies of the Kardashians and maybe the 6 week Ethiopian Weight Loss Diet books, then have me start shipping crates soon as possible.
A single book cost me about $5 to ship first class with a box, plenty of handling. With Amazon’s generous commission, minus my printing costs, I figured I would only lose 2 bucks per book. My guru buddy said once sales started up, I’d be able to send more books at a time. I figured great, maybe only lose a dollar each sale…
Show you how smart Skeeter is, I did this about half a dozen times. One book at a time. Tax write-offs every sale! Losing money isn’t all that unusual for me, being an artist and all, but what finally frosted my B-hind was when I discovered my books on their used book list, SIGNED by the author, in like new condition, for less than half my cover price even WITH shipping and handling. It was like competing with myself in a knife fight and both of us had one arm tied behind our necks.
They don’t call Amazon Amazon cause they want to be the pygmies of the corporate world. The Amazon is the biggest river on the planet and it’s filled with piranhas. They want total world domination. All these companies, Google, Microsoft, Apple, Facebook, they want dominion over the plants and the animals, the moon and the stars. They’re flesh-eating viruses and you better believe, they’re probably going to win.
But!! There are still those brave small furry mammals hiding under the foliage of nettles and ferns, under the radar of Amazon T-Rex and its razor-toothed velocipede companions, and who knows, maybe corporate evolution will favor those with pure hearts and good intentions….
Naw…. It’ll be like Bambi vs. Godzilla, venison toejam. Nevertheless, tonight let’s root for Bambi. And let’s give a round of applause for Kristine and Tom for inviting us all here and especially for waging the Good Fight against overwhelming odds.
Hits: 20