Crime Wave
We had a major crime wave down here recently. Naw….. I don’t mean the Barefoot Bandit. He’s cooling his heels down at the Federal Pen South of Seattle. Probably learning new techniques at our prison —- that, or he’s teaching his fellow students, tuition, night classes, gov’t. grants, GI Bill money. Phoenix School of Federal Way. “Come Fly With Me” as a slogan.
Naw, we had some home invasions, front doors broken down, valuables stolen, safes hauled out — all in the broad daylight down by the end of the island. A good forensic detective could put pins on the map and just about trace em right back to the first break-in, about where the mailboxes were being hit and letters strewn beside the road. Got a couple of guys down there, both in the habit of rolling their cars, nodding off at the wheel. The Oxycontin Kids. I’m sure most of us and the sheriff’s deputies too knew who was responsible — and why.
Naw, not society. Not the Stanwoodopolis School System. These two yahoos needing money to buy heroin. Oh, I spoze we could blame the heroin dealers for price gouging. Or the job creators for paying too little, forcing our culprits to quit the job market and seek more lucrative compensation elsewhere. Like from us….
Now, understand, I majored in sociology in college. Which, of course, is why I’m a starving artist now. But that’s another lecture for another day. So I know the Root Causes, the societal ills, the entire panoply of excuses…. the ones that get thrown right out the window when it’s your shack that’s burglarized and your TV set and laptop computer that get stolen and pawned for nickels on the dollar.
Most of us would probably give these punks a buck or two, about the same as the pawnshop or the fence is gonna give em just to NOT break a door down. Call it insurance, call it bleeding heart liberalism, call it charity. It’s that or we could just do like Halloween and leave a basket of methadone on the doorstep, a treat instead of a theft. Save us all the money wasted on security systems and the extra ammo.