Cannabis Island
Opportunities come and go here faster than county commissioners. Like Shakespeare said, albeit a wee more poetically, You snooze, You lose. A few years back the island had the chance to capitalize on the Barefoot Bandit’s international notoriety. Colton Island. We could’ve been what Forks is to vampires, a major tourist destination for teenagers and their drag-along parents. But no, we let it slip through our fingers and now Colton is just a fading memory cooling his heels in the federal pen south of Seattle and Gomorrah. All that memorabilia us South Enders invested in will no doubt jam the Second Chance Thrift Store for a decade.
But! Fate has dealt our backwash island another Hand, a real 2nd chance. And, as always, we’re here to promote it! Forget that 3rd time is the charm stuff — there won’t be a 3rd time. Jump on the 2nd. Learn from our mistakes. Ride the Gravy Train for a change. It’s coming into a station near you. Call your commissioner. Talk to your priest. Chat with your retirement investment counselor. Take out some loans. Do what needs to be done!
The mom and pop auto parts store on 530 has closed to make room for a cannabis store. A marijuana mercantile. A drug emporium. A regular Dr. Feelgood’s real goods. Down on the South End the Tyee Store has been sold and soon will boast multiple greenhouses and grow operations. That’s correct, Sherlock: Marijuana Pharming. Agribusiness is alive and well once again and the island — cue the Power Point Presentation — is ideally positioned to cash in. Cannabis Island!!! Imagine the tourism. Imagine the potential, the profits, the notoriety. Cannabis Island, the island higher than Mt. Rainier.
Forget Colton. He’ll be out soon and he’ll probably get a white collar job with the FBI teaching them his fugitive tactics. The future is now. The future, if we have sense enough to grab it by the bong handle, is going to pot. Contact the Chamber of Commerce, alert the realtors, listen to the artists: Cannabis Island “where you can take a trip and never leave your seat.” Don’t let this opportunity slip from our grasp! We missed our chance once, don’t let this one be a savage flashback.
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