ROCKY HORROR STOCK MARKET SHOW
ROCKY HORROR STOCK MARKET SHOW
Like maybe a few of you, I’ve been watching the stock market in the aftermath of the worst economic meltdown in most of our memories. It looks like a jumping bean on steroids and meth both. Huge jumps, kamikaze dives. Nobody knows quite what to do with the money they got left after the 401-K’s were looted, bury it or invest it with the Wall Street crowd. It’s like the creepiest of horror movies where the dead keep getting back up and killed again.
The zombies, of course, are all those folks who preached unbridled capitalism. You remember them. The people who wanted to privatize Social Security. Why make a puny couple of percentage points interest when we could make some SERIOUS money in the Market? Why put the brakes on a wild ride to riches? Bubble? No sir, that was a balloon sailing to Eldorado, streets paved with gold…..
I will make you a prediction you can take to the bank: they’ll be back! They’ll dig up out of the hasty grave we threw them in and kicked dirt over. They’ll knock on our door some midnight dreary when our own fiscal wounds have started to heal and the memory of this nightmare has faded. They’ll be at the door grinning blood and money, offering impossible returns, easy loans, no interest, fast bucks.
Me, I’m resharpening my wooden stakes. I’m hanging credit cards wrapped in garlic by the porch. I’m looking for silver bullets, not silver linings.
So when the rollercoaster levels out and you know the extent of the damage finally, don’t let your guard down, don’t call your broker and don’t assume the worst is over. It isn’t. They’re clawing their way above ground even now.
And here’s a tip: when dawn finally comes and the ghouls in Brooks Brother suits slink back to their coffins, check your MasterCards. From now on, Leave Home Without It.