Trump U.!
Trump U.!
[A paid advertisement]
Just when you thought, if you listened to the GOP convention speeches, that America was going right down the toilet, good news reached your shores. Trump U. is coming to Camano. That’s right, quality education, good jobs, reinvigorated economy, all coming to mobile trailers near you. At least until the brick and mortar classrooms and lecture halls are completed. Rest assured, the light at the end of America’s dark tunnel is up ahead and it’s an LED. This is no mail order degree mill, this is Donald J. Trump University.
Soon you’ll be receiving four color, six page glossy brochures advertising the vast array of degrees that will be available at T.U., taught by PhD’s who themselves graduated summa cum loud at the prestigious University, for not much more tuition than a student would pay to go to Harvard. And! If you act now, they’ll give you, not one, but two additional degrees in the subject of your choosing. Just add shipping and handling. For you veterans the government will subsidize the cost of this education. Thank you for your service!
Problem with diplomas from high school? Not a problem at Trump University! You won’t even need a G.E.D. Dropouts are welcome at the U and their mentoring program will help you earn your degrees in no time flat, almost literally. And isn’t it refreshing to know, in these recessionary years, that in a matter of only a few seminars, you too will join the entrepreneurial elite. Apply now for our fall registration. The future beckons. The future is you. Don’t delay. Education was never so easy.
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