Jumping without a Parachute
This morning I read about a guy who is planning to dive 25,000 feet from a plane. Without a parachute. He plans to land in a net held up 20 stories high by two cranes. He’s tested this with dummies. One dummy shot right through the webbing of the net, but I hear it’s okay. Still a dummy, though.
I’m always puzzled by people like this. Not one ounce of me has that urge for thrill seeking, death defying acts. I don’t picture myself conquering Mt. Everest without oxygen, I don’t want to bungee jump off bridges into deep gorges, I don’t imagine myself in a Formula One racecar hitting 220 miles per hour going into the turns. If you look up the word Cautious in the dictionary, you probably will find my mug shot hiding behind a tree. It’s not as if I haven’t taken my share of risks, but I don’t go looking for them. Sometimes they’re unavoidable. Sometimes they’re the result of stupid mistakes. Mistakes I wouldn’t want to make twice.
Harry, a buddy of mine, offered to pay my fare for a skydiving jump back when I first got to Seattle. He’d taken a jump out in Issaquah a couple months before and he was totally hooked so now he was looking for converts to his new adrenaline fueled addiction. No thanks, I said. He could hardly believe his ears. He repeated his offer, thinking maybe I was hard of hearing. “It’s a Total Rush!” he kept saying. “I’ll pay for your first dive. After that, you’ll be hooked too. It’s amazing. Amazing!”
I thanked him again and declined his offer. “What??? Are you afraid??”
“Afraid?”I said, “Afraid?? Jump out of an airplane and hope whoever stuffed my parachute did it right? Yeah, that would scare me. I don’t even like roller coasters, but I’m sure as hell not jumping out of an airplane with no margin of error.”
Harry laughed at me and explained about the backup chute. Called me a coward. Ridiculed my fear. “We’ll go this weekend,” he cried, I guess figuring I’d rather be frightened than forever tagged as a Coward. “Won’t cost you one dime and you’ll thank me later.”
Harry and I rafted a river once together, but we never jumped out of an airplane, no doubt the thrill of a lifetime. Harry’s a quadriplegic now after getting hit by a truck riding along a highway. He was always an aggressive bike rider, like everything else he did. He’d probably tell you it was a small price to pay, that life isn’t worth living without taking risks. I’d answer that it was plenty risky enough already.
And by the way, that skydiver landed in the net okay. The paper said his wife and family were watching from nearby. A hot air balloon in Texas hit a power line and all 16 passengers were killed. Today I’m thinking of just staying home. Why take unnecessary chances?
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I’m with you on this one Skeeter, both feet solidly on the ground. Even you you add a knapsack full of D.B Cooper money to the offer, nobody is gonna get me out of a plane with a parachute on my back – – unless a Jetway is rolled up to the cabin door.
We already lived thru dangerous times up there in Northern Wisconsin with the rampaging rednecks and the Posse Comitatus. Plus those trips to the airport to watch KUNG FU on their TV.
Unnecessary chances at home: attack squirrels, mad crows, revengeful crabs, gravity assisted apples, split logs, broken mowers, crazy neighbors and more….
Don’t forget bad TV.