The Kardashian Factor
For a long time I’ve been befuddled by the continuous ‘newsfeeds’ concerning all things Kardashian. I thought maybe it was my lack of cable networks, you know, missing all those wonderful reality TV shows. But this past election opened my eyes to the state of information dispersal in the good old Yew Ess of Aye. We get our news, not from the untrustworthy folks at NPR or the NY Times or PBS and CNN. Not even from Fox News. We get the fair and balanced from Facebook. Since I’m the last human on earth who has not signed up for the Hive, all these Borg newsflashes miss my antennae. I am no one’s ‘friend’ and apparently friend to no one.
Yesterday I read that 49% of Republicans believe Pizzagate is true. Wilder yet, 24% of Democrats believe Hillary Clinton is running a pedophilia ring, human trafficking and satanic ritual abuse out of a family pizza joint in Washington DC. Stop and think about that for one South End second. It’s as if a very sizeable percentage of my fellow Americans believed in evil fairies that live in the sewer system of every major city, planning secretly to use the rats to do their dirty work some night in the near future. They have telepathic powers and they invade our dreams! They know what we’re thinking!! They control our TV’s!!!! They’re filling our heads with insane bullshit!!!!! They have hacked the Russians who have hacked us!!!!!! They have taken over Donald J. Trump’s human body and now will become the next president of the United States of Evil Elves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please don’t post this, you folks who are on Facebook. We have lost our sense of humor. We are gullible as demented geriatrics drooling in front of the Sean Hannity Show. Someone, probably those damn fairies, has put Kool-Aid in our municipal water systems. And we’ve been drinking it for years. They tell me a comet is passing our solar system tonight. No doubt it is coming to take the True Believers to a better world. Pack your bags, is my advice. You’ve already paid the fare, why not enjoy the trip?
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