Bad GOP Boyfriend
So you voted in this guy thinking, what, he’d mature once he took the oath? How many folks married the person they wished he or she would be, only to find out they were the same sad sorry sack they’d dated? And now what? You’re supposed to reform this goof of a husband?
All your friends told you the guy was a jerk, but no, you thought you could manage him. Sure, he flirted with your girlfriends, might’ve even slept with your best friend, but you weren’t married yet, he was ust sowing some wild oats. Later he would be faithful. Okay, he was a thin-skinned hothead and offended your family, but you figured he was maybe just drinking a bit too hard, something you’d correct with a little encouragement or maybe some nagging. And if he seemed a bit, oh, I don’t know, obstinate maybe … or … resistant to criticism … or … all right, just damn pigheaded most of the time … you thought he was just showing off for your friends and missing the mark somewhat. Nothing that wouldn’t level off once he’d slipped those rings on your fingers.
But now you’re wondering, was this all just crazy hopeful expectation? Were you so desperately alone, even this philandering, blowhard know-nothing looked, if not good, at least okay? Were YOU drinking a little too heavily perhaps? Oh sure, sometimes he said mean things, but you didn’t think he’d lay a hand on you, did you? And now your friends are saying you should leave the sonofabitch after that last black eye and Sheila, your former best friend, finally confessed that yeah, he’d basically raped her that night after he’d taken you home and given her a ride to her apartment.
The folks are tearing their hair out over this son-in-law. They’d offer to pay him for a divorce, but he’s got more money than Midas has gold. He’s contented to be at the Thanksgiving table, to hell with the looks that could kill across the carved turkey, he ain’t going nowhere, and Christmas looks like Halloween coming back again, no treats this time.
We wish we could offer some advice. We wish we could offer condolences. But we warned you, didn’t we? Trouble is, you brought this bully into our neighborhood and now he’s our problem too. He feels like he’s entitled and he’s got the clout to back it up. Thanks, Eve, for bringing the snake into the Garden. Now, how do we get rid of him???
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Early indications are that the people who actually voted for him are not yet having regrets — they like what he’s doing. In Seattle, I talked to a 20-something who said that friends who decided not to vote at all are regretting it now. But if they lived in Washington, it wouldn’t have made a difference anyway. I’ve stopped trying to imagine how all this is going to play out now. Too terryifying.