Moon Landing a Hoax!!

Maybe you haven’t seen the photos that prove the moon landings were a hoax. Probably a little too busy sorting through the NY Times trying to figure out what stories are faux news and what are just editorials. I have trouble myself. My father sent me an e-mail chain letter yesterday showing John McCain, the senator who ran for President, the same one Trump said was no war hero in his book, wasn’t a war hero after all but a traitor as well.

I’m not sure if NASA is now the Enemy or not. I’m not sure the moon even really exists or is just some mylar balloon painted with phony baloney craters some alien race put up there to trick us into thinking celestial bodies orbit around us. And no, I don’t know why they did it, I just know they maybe did it. They’re aliens. How are we supposed to know what they’re thinking. I can’t even figure out what Kellyanne
Conway is thinking and … wait! Do you think she might just be … an alien? The logic kind of proves it, doesn’t it???

All my life I’ve been told the tides are driven by the moon’s orbit. I accepted it without much question and maybe you did too. Third grade propaganda! No wonder Texas wants to rewrite those school books. Texans mostly don’t have tides except around the Gulf and those folks aren’t really Texans. Not that I think they’re aliens. Liberals maybe, which is close. But I live next to the Puget Sound and the tides come in and they go out. Twice a day!! How the hell do they do it? And WHO is doing it?? The aliens?

Humans sure couldn’t. Trump might think he can, but he can’t. Nobody on this earth could do it. So that leaves … no, not Kellyanne. Well, maybe Kellyanne, but more likely the aliens. In league with the Russians? I don’t know, but they might be. And if they might be, they probably are. Tomorrow, when my old man sends some new e-mails, I’ll find out the truth. I sure hope my old man isn’t one of the aliens cause that would mean a DNA test on me is going to be really really embarrassing.

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3 Responses to “Moon Landing a Hoax!!”

  1. Rick Says:

    What I want to know is, with America’s high tech ability to create an incredibly realistic fake moon landing, why’d we stop there? I mean that was 1969, so why not make one big final push the following year in Southeast Asia and fake win the Vietnam War? In 1971, we could have fake defeated communism once and for all. Then in 1972 a fake Mars landing, in ’73 a fake Beatles reunion.

    Finally, with Watergate debunked by broadcasting fake video of what ‘really’ took place, the coup de grace, 1974’s coronation of fake Emperor Nixon, for life.

  2. skeeter Says:

    Nixon was real??? And Vietnam too???? Geez, all these years I thought it was a bad acid trip that lasted practically forever. I suppose next you’ll be claiming all those 60’s and 70’s weren’t a flashback. If you tell me Disco was real, I’m going to freak right out. I had about recovered from that era. You know, until Trump came along…

  3. Rick Says:

    I wanted to add, Emporor Nixon wouldn’t have to seize power, he would be elected 1st Emperor of the United States of America with 99.9% of the popular vote. Having accomplished so much in His first two terms, citizens, pardon me, His subjects would look forward to a Nixonian future, a time of peace on earth, electricity too cheap to meter, and of course, two flying cars in every garage.

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