April Faux Day
These are tough times for us poor souls who are tasked every year to come up with an April Fool’s joke to slip past the gullible, the unsuspecting and the literal. What is a satirist supposed to do when every day is April Fool’s Day in the Land of the Free, Home of the Brave? Everything now is labeled Faux News, true or not, outrageous or not, phony or not. People believe what they want to believe and what they don’t, fake news!
The President had multiple affairs with Playboy models! Fake news! The Russians hacked and trolled the 2016 elections! Ho ho, all lies! Largest crowd ever at the Inauguration! Melania Trump entered the country on an Einstein Visa! What? You don’t believe it? We’re winning the war in Afghanistan another year! The economy is the greatest it’s ever been! Hillary Clinton was a traitor! The Trump kids are Martians!! Strange electric beams of energy have been seen emanating at night from the Washington Monument!!! Camano Island has voted to become a Sanctuary City!!!! Amazon is planning to take over the world!!!!! The Bots are coming, the Bots are coming!!!!!!!
If we now feel like Alice in Wonderland where up is down and right is wrong, how in the world do we sucker in the unsuspecting with some cockamamie story that sounds plausible but is actually a total fabrication when everything now is either a fabrication masquerading as truth or is a truth deemed phony baloney. Nobody tries to keep up with the lies anymore, we just take them for granted as part of the political landscape. The more outrageous the whopper the better, all part of the reality TV show we now live in. Every day is April Fool’s Day, but it’s harder and harder to know who the Fool is.
Down here on the cynical South End, sadly, we’ve grown accustomed to the Weird and the Fabulous. Reality has grown fangs and claws. Our neighbor was murdered and beheaded last week off Tamarack Lane. Faux news? I don’t think so. An underground bunker stocked with guns and ammo was hidden beneath a camouflaged hatch cover on the same property. Fake news? Don’t kid yourself. A killer is on the loose, our heroin thief is back and, I fool you not, so is the Barefoot Bandit. Phony news? Go ask Alice … when she’s ten feet tall. Meanwhile, Happy April Fool! And Colton, welcome back, Kid! We missed ya! And good luck on a new start. Seriously.
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Tags: Barefoot Bandit, Decapitation on the South End, Fake News