The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

I just saw a survey that showed where 30% of kids under the age of 4 years old have a TV in their room. Granted that Mom and Dad want their child not to feel deprived. No one, not even kidless me, wants a maladaptive, potentially hostile punk menacing his or her fellow pre-schoolers because of a deliberately imposed TV deficiency. Plus, it’s a great solution for a 2 year old’s fear of the dark. Boogieman under the bed? Believe me, he’ll pale in comparison to the nightly news.

I remember sitting in front of our first TV – a small box on metal legs with a rabbit ear antenna on top – waiting for Howdy Doody to come on down in the pre-dawn livingroom while we stared at the Indian chief test signal. TV didn’t program 24/7. No, it had the decency to Sign Off at 11 or midnight, let your brain de-fuzz awhile. Us kids would sneak a flashlight under the covers and read a book. At least until the Old Man came in and told us to go to sleep….

Obviously 30% of you don’t find anything wrong with parking a TV in the nursery. But I do. It feels like the scene in Invasion of the Body Snatchers where the parents — who’ve been snatched already — put the space pod under their kids’ beds. Somehow I doubt the tots are watching PBS. More likely they’re tuning in to 30 commercials an hour, making mental notes for what cereal to whine for or what candy bar or toy or the car they’ll want at 16. Might as well join us adults in the Consumer Nation. Plus it’s a great babysitter. Don’t worry about attention deficiency when they reach 6. They’ll have a computer by then.

Tomorrow I’ll probably see the study that 50% of kids under 7 have their own credit card. Just order up what they want with their I-phone and have it delivered overnight. Call now — our advertisers are standing by.

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I must be the only person on the planet who hasn’t gotten addicted to Game of Thrones. I ask myself: what is wrong with me? Why can’t I dedicate a few hundred hours to a series about war and mayhem, rape and Dragons? Have I grown up? Is that the problem? Or do I just not know what I’m missing? If the season finale rates right up there in ‘news’ viewers’ interest with Trump’s odd little dealings with Deutsch Bank, who am I to be disdainful of the show. Ya gotta do something with those boring evenings.

I mean, if folks care as much as they do about a Starbuck’s coffee cup peeking out of the background and now a water bottle, for godsake, visible to the eagle-eyed viewers of this week’s final episode, and cry foul, foul! for such an egregious mistake on a show that costs about 15 million dollars an episode (equivalent to about 5 million Starbucks coffees as long as we’re immersed in trivia), then we might have a lot to worry about this coming election whether the star of The Apprentice gets fired or not. Just saying.

I admit, I never played Dungeons or Dragons. I gave up on Star Wars about episode 2 when it seemed like adolescent pulp. I couldn’t even watch the 3rd episode of the Lord of the Rings after about an hour of computer generated mayhem in the 2nd episode. I think my English major background ruined me, I really do. I like literature more than comic books. At least when I reached the ripe old age of 11 or 12. I think movies ought to be thought provoking, not just entertainment. I know, I should get counseling. I live in the wrong country. The wrong era. The wrong place and time. But would counseling really help?

That coffee cup misplaced in the Game, maybe I’m being too judgemental. Maybe I should write to the anal compulsive who gleaned that mistake from the midst of elaborate sets and thank him. He ruined the series for folks who wanted a break from their banal reality. He called their attention to it. He was the moral equivalent of a person who blabs the ending in an intentional spoiler. I may have to watch the Games on rerun. Just to see if I can spot the Starbucks. What else do I have to do that’s better?

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