Critical Banjo Theory

Posted in rantings and ravings on August 28th, 2023 by skeeter

Some of you fellow South Enders might be surprised — shocked even!! — to learn that there is a movement afoot to ban the teaching of banjo’s contribution to American Civilization. These folks think schools need to banish any and all books from their libraries that mention the role banjos played in our history. They claim their children are being propagandized, groomed to believe the instrument and those who played them were discriminated against. And worse, their children were being told they should consider it as their instrument of choice in certain ‘woke’ communities.

Critical Banjo Theory it’s called and it’s being taught — so they say — in elite eastern snob universities by left leaning faculties. It’s even filtered down into our high schools and yes! it has tentacles into our grade schools. So say these proponents of music purity! Bad enough we have rock n roll and rap. But banjo based music — it makes our students uncomfortable thinking the slave race brought these tools of insurrection and emancipation to our shores, not the happy melodies of our European immigrant ancestors. No, these were instruments of rebellion, a devil inspired percussive beat, a call-to-arms for what might have been a contented plantation worker, one who on hearing that heated jungle beat threw down his cotton picking bags to join in the revolution.

This, of course, undermines the sanguine history of our proud nation according to those who would delete the 5 string instrument from approved school textbooks. It undermines our nationalist need for an unblemished history. If a banjo isn’t a black mark, they argue, what is? A harmonica? No, the banjo conjures up slavery, Negro jazz, protest movements, Black Panthers … and so, for that reason, our youth must be protected from the discomfort such knowledge brings to their malleable minds.

These are dark times, all I can say. How could I know my banjo was a dark reminder of an America we desperately need to sanitize? Forgive me. Forgive me. My goal now is to make amends. To that end I will dedicate myself to mastering the accordion. Surely, at least I fervently hope so, it has no dark past.

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