The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

Every morning I walk downhill to my mailbox to pick up our two newspapers which I read over coffee back at the house, no doubt an anachronistic habit now that the so-called news is deemed phony. I notice most of its critics still believe the sports page and think ball scores, etc. are factual so I guess it’s only politics, science and the rest that are suspect. Me, I still trust the newspapers to be mostly true and if there’s a bias, well, I like to think I’m smart enough to notice, make allowance and still get a sense of what’s going on out there in the world beyond our driveway.

Today I read about a German laboratory where they’re toilet training cows. Faux news, you ask? A partisan article intended to disparage one of our NATO partners? Or worse, a GOP fueled call-to-arms to prevent government mandates that would require farmers in the Land of the Free to potty train their Herefords? Now, I’m not really sure what these German scientists were trying to accomplish. Maybe those Cow Pampers were costing them a fortune or possibly the point was to have the buggers poop somewhere away from streams and lakes to avoid fecal runoff. Although, the article mentioned that these potty-trainers were only working on #1 at this point, not #2.

You may well be asking yourself the same question as I was. No, not whether or not the Germans will be building bovine port-a-potties soon, but why I’m reading about this tomfoolery in the first place even if it is semi-scientific. After all, it’s not some sort of breakthrough in the quest for animal crappers, bovine bathrooms, equestrian lavatories or barnyard etiquette. Unless, of course, the damn government with its burdensome regulations is planning to mandate poop scooping for farm animals. Save a lot of hefty garbage bags to have the beasts just kindly move to the edge of the field where the latrines are waiting. Science, a powerful tool in the hands of homo sapiens!! At least for the Believers.

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