The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

A couple of the Flatheads, the vintage car guyz, are starting to bring politics into the Monday morning breakfasts … and worse, they seem to be lobbying to convert the carb heads into their own brand of evangelical prophesy. Sure, the boyz will argue the aesthetics of after-market parts vs hunting down the originals, but they don’t accuse the other of sin or blasphemy. Like Little Jimmy says, there’s room for both to be wrong. Actually what he preaches is there’s room for both to be full of shit, but he doesn’t say that in the Diner. And not in front of Anita, the owner and referee over barfights and language when families are present. You want a refill on that coffee, mister, keep a civil tongue.

But lately we got this mess over in the Holy Land, what Ralph considers the coming Apocalypse, we can read it for ourselves in Revelation. Two Toke, not exactly the poster boy for biblical studies, declares he’s read Revelations and Ralph ought to maybe stick with the Chilton’s Repair Manual and leave off the prophesies, which sets Buick Bob on a rant against these heathen Moslems who attacked Israel and now are getting exactly what they deserve, the Wrath of God.

You want to wind up Two Toke, these two got it figured out. ‘Bob,’ he says, pointing a fork stabbed into his potatoes, ‘there’s a bigger picture here, maybe you haven’t noticed. You want another Crusade, you might just get it.’

Ralph says that’s exactly what he’s talking about, the Second Coming, and Bob says, ‘you’re damn right!’

Fairlane Fred puts his hands in the time-out position. ‘C’mon, guys, let’s skip the sermons. I barely got started on my chicken fried steak and you’re spoiling my appetite, all this gloom and doom. Brenda,’ he hollers at this morning’s waitress, ‘give me a refill. But no more for Bob and Ralph, they’re over cranked as it is.’

Two Toke slops some ketchup on the rest of his home fries, starts to say something, then thinks better of it. Brenda pours Fred another cup, hovers over Bob and Ralph’s, hesitates a nano-second, then fills both up. ‘Two cup solution,’ she announces, ‘something for everybody.’

I was curious afterwards what her tips were like that morning.

Hits: 25