The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

Well, it’s that time again to think about our New Year’s resolutions. Since we never expect to really quit smoking or cut back on our drinking, in fact, do anything much different than what we’ve always done since before the millenia. So why not super-size those rez’s this year?

For instance, why not resolve to quit scrolling your smartphone 24/7? Of course you can’t do it, but at least you acknowledge the addiction. Take mine — NOT to pay attention to the antics of our narcissistic ego-deranged president Fuhrer. I may as well resolve to look away from traffic accidents, just not going to happen. Let’s be honest, some things are beyond the control of us mere mortals. Might just as well resolve to achieve world peace or dial back the global temperatures, both worthy goals and no shame if you fail considering we’ve all failed.

About half of us made the same resolution every damn year — to lose 10 or 20 pounds, slim down, eat less, eat wiser. But now that we got Ozempic and about a dozen or two diet drugs we can skip that one this year, maybe just work on a diet for our credit cards. Which, by the way, Big Pharma is working on a non-injectible solution, just give them a year or two, a remedy is just around the corner.

In the non-scientific totally anecdotal statistics I’ve compiled here on the fairly resolutionless South End, those who did vow pledges for self-improvement not only failed miserably, for the most part they doubled down on addictions, sins, weight gain and device usage. Nearly all were quite content to do so. The only sensible conclusion would seem to be a resolution to skip the damn resolutions. Which, I’ll be honest, is mine this year. Good luck to the rest of my digitally addicted, chain smoking, overweight alcoholic neighbors. Happy New Year, same as the Old One.