The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

A few years back while we were still living in our hundred year old shack, I was at a graduation dinner for a friend and her family. The seating arrangements worked out in a way that I was at the far end of the long table and even further down was my friend’s aunt who was obviously peeved at the prospect of an evening with no one else to talk with than my miserable self. This lady had actually stayed a night many moons prior at my shack, before even the mizzus arrived some months later, and so she knew first hand what my socio-economic status was, somewhere near the bottom.

In the intervening years she had married a man closer to the top of that status, a high mucky-muck for a major corporation who sat on no fewer than 7 board of directors for other major corporations. And in full honesty, was a nice guy when I met him, despite being filthy rich. In the course of our shared exile from the rest of the dinner party we chatted amiably about this and that, talked about the divergent paths our lives had taken and eventually grew pretty comfortable with one another.

At some point past dessert she mentioned that her two high school boys had taken a vacation to some southeast Asian country I had never heard of, which they loved and which she suggested I make plans myself to go touring. At the time a trip to Wisconsin was about as far as our budget would extend, something she might have surmised but obviously didn’t. Later she waxed nostalgically about the guided fishing trip to Alaska, a weeklong safari with their own chef and a fabulous lodge. Only cost about 10,000 for the week. She told me in all earnestness we needed to take that trip too. I said it sounded wonderful. She no doubt assumed I would be on the phone to my travel agent as soon as possible following a quick call to our broker.

My point in all this was how, in only a couple of decades, this woman who had stayed with me in a shack where the mice kept her awake all night gnawing on the walls, could lose sight of what it was like to be … well … poor. We can all drop what we’re doing and jet over exotic lands. We can certainly afford a guided fishing excursion with our own chef in tow. The gulf between her wealth and our poverty had disappeared. We still stay in touch. She and her husband are very nice people and very generous to their niece. They just seem to have lost touch with us unwashed masses. Even though they had been here themselves once.

On a recent encounter at their niece’s wedding, one catered by a restaurant hours away in Portland, I asked about the house they had bought in Pasadena and been restoring for the past few years. At some point I asked, gee, this is a long shot, but this isn’t the Greene and Greene arts and craft house you see in all the architecture books, is it? No, they laughed, we’re the house next door. Probably a modest neighborhood, I’m thinking. In a galaxy far far away….

I heard a study recently that said the poor are more charitable than the rich. On average they give almost twice as much of their income percentage-wise to those in need than their wealthier brethren. They also volunteer more for charities and non profits, service groups and outreach programs. Basically, if my sociology statistical studies are still in semi-working order, this proves, not quite conclusively but damn close, the South End is way more philanthropic than our neighbors up yonder ensconced behind their key carded gated communities.

I had a friend tell me in all seriousness awhile back (in regard to my bemusement over her financial plight at the time) that a million dollars just wasn’t what it used to be. What exactly do you say to a pronouncement like that? Do you work out the math of inflation vs. income? Do you shrug your overburdened shoulders and just agree? Or do you take pity and offer up a loan …. you know, to get her by until that devalued million dollars returns to its rightful place in the economy?

These are tough times. Especially, I guess, for the rich. Or, more aptly, the folks who no longer count themselves among the Gatsbys of Camano. Their stocks have slipped, the value of their two homes has dropped, their retirement funds seem inadequate now, even their hedge fund broker refuses to return their frantic calls — that vast chasm between Us and Them looks like a ditch, not a Grand Canyon. And if sacrifices must be made — and believe me, they must — a little less giving to the needy is definitely the order of the day.

Meanwhile, down here on the Lower Tiers, we kind of see we’re all in this together. So we still donate, we still volunteer and we still give. We don’t have much, but it never seemed too little somehow. Even though a hundred dollars isn’t what it used to be.

I was chatting it up with my UPS driver a few years back.  He had a shack like mine, burned wood for heat, lived in a remote spot up in the hills east of Stanwoodopolis.  I asked him how he liked driving for a living and he said, well, it’s okay if you don’t mind only making wages.

I said what does that mean?  And he took some precious minutes from his frenetic schedule to explain he delivered to all the dot.com millionaires up the road, boyz who retired at 40, cashed in their stock options and lived like shahs in their palaces on the bluff while he was making mere union wages.  You know, with health insurance, vacation and pension.  Stuff me and my pals don’t get….

Wealth, I guess you already know in the land of the free, is relative.  All these folks with early retirements, McMansions, dot.com money, his and her BMW’s — well, it can sure make a decent salary with benefits look like pauper’s wages if you care to do a comparison test.  Make you feel positively deprived.  Make you think if your time isn’t worth $500 an hour you’re being cheated, sorta like being homeless at Christmas in Beverly Hills.  Probably explains why folks play the Lottery.  Even up their playing field if they hit big.

We spend too much time wanting what we don’t have than enjoying what we do — and that maxim that money won’t buy you happiness, well, save that for the simple minded.  Money for most of us will BE happiness.

My UPS driver left awhile back.  Maybe a new route.  Hopefully one delivering to minimum wage earners.  My guess is he’s starting up some new software company, fishing for venture capital, looking for investors.  Probably in a couple of years he’ll sell out to IBM or AT&T, retire near me with enough money to buy the bluffs across the street and build a Taj South Hall.   UPS trucks’ll line up at the coded gate and he’ll regale the drivers with stories of when years ago, in another lifetime, he drove big brown trucks and worked for slave wages.  Won’t be long, we won’t have enough folks left to drive delivery.