The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

It is encouraging to know that this coronavirus thingy is being ably handled by our President whose motto must be The Only Thing We Have to Fear is Facts Themselves. The spin doctor is In. I suspect when he claims to be fantastically knowledgeable about all things medical, evidently because his gene pool has an MIT expert somewhere in the family tree, we can all relax, we’re in capable hands. In fact, if we’re symptomatic of Covid-19, go ahead and go to work. Do us good and probably generate optimism among our co-workers.

Apparently the folks out here on the Left Coast, ground zero for this mutating virus, aren’t reassured one bit. Josephine Nursing Home in Stanwoodopolis just went into quarantine mode. The Community Center just canceled the South End String Band’s scheduled St. Patrick’s Day dance and concert. Along with most every other public event this coming month. I tried to explain the band was infectious, not contagious, but panic had already spread from the nursing homes to the senior centers, schools to fire stations. Naturally we agreed it was probably in the public health interest, then immediately booked a gig at the Stanwoodopolis Hotel for St. Pat’s Saturday March 14th, figuring, I guess, green beer would inoculate any and all from the scourges of this fast spreading epidemic.

Me, I’m recovering from my yearly bout of Camano Crud, the symptoms of which seem astoundingly similar to Covid-19, but of course there are no tests available right now which is reassuring to the Doctor-in-Chief who wants those numbers to stay low. Even now a cruise ship is drifting like a plague ship off San Francisco, but offshore, those contaminated aren’t going to be counted in the national numbers. If I don’t miss my guess, the stricken in Washington will soon be quarantined in dinghys and rowboats off the western coast to reduce the headcount of victims. Let’s not even imagine what will become of the fatalities, but tomorrow’s death count should be substantially less. Today’s count? A hoax to embarrass the President.

They say St. Patrick chased the snakes from Ireland. Kind of like St. Skeeter’s Day, memorializing ridding the South End of crocodiles. We may, before long, have to celebrate St. Donald’s Day, to commemorate chasing the plague from our shores. Stay calm, go to work, come down to the Hotel Saturday night, nothing to fear here.

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