The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

Stormy Daniels is a Russian spy mistress intent on destroying the United States of America. If you don’t believe it, ask yourself this: why did Trump fire the Secretary of State on the morning when Stormy Natasha Fatale’s ultimatum to the President that he accept the $130,000 hush money or Else ??? She and her attorney Boris Badanov aka Michael Avenatti have vowed to speak publicly on her yearlong affair with the Donald unless he takes back the slush money paid out by Trump’s own attorney, purportedly without his knowledge, who was merely trying to protect his friend from further shame and castigation shortly after the then candidate’s admission of groping women. To prevent that deadline from becoming the day’s headline, the President diverted the mainstream press’s attention by firing Rex Tillerson via Tweet. Mr. Tillerson had made the mistake a few months ago of calling the President a ‘fucking moron’, definitely fake news to serious journalists on Fox and Friends. Additionally Tillerson had agreed with the prime minister of England that Russia was behind the poisonings of a double agent and his daughter. Adios, Rex!

Obviously Stormy Daniels is a Russian operative, bent on destroying the good name of Donald Trump by disclosing what may seem obvious to the New York Times and the alphabet media, but has been denied repeatedly by the White House press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, even if she did let slip that this affair had been litigated previously in the President’s favor. Stormy and her friend (and probable spy) Playboy model Karen McDougal, each claim to have had sexual affairs with the Commander-in-Chief, even suggesting he invited them to participate in a menage-a-trois. What this hints at is that the two women may also be engaged in a double operation with a definite French connection. Quelle Tristesse! So sad!!

Today the President himself filed a lawsuit against Ms. Daniels for $20 million for violating the non-disclosure contract for the affair he claims he never had with Stormy D. I-never-had-sex-with-that-woman —– sounds vaguely familiar. Nearly half of Republicans polled this week believe the President has been faithful to his wives. 2% of Democrats believed he was faithful. This may tell us more about the GOP’s notion of ‘faithful’ than it does about the Donald’s illicit affairs. Apparently a non-disclosure contract with hush money negates an actual sexual act by a married man. Read the small print, I guess. Yesterday Stormy opened a crowd-funding site to help her with the $130,000 she’ll lose if she tells all to the press. She hit that mark in less than 24 hours. You know, and I know, the Russians donated the money. Quelle Tristesse!! Let’s see if they’ll pony up the 20 million. Or was that the gold bullion shipment that fell off the plane in Yakutsk yesterday? Coincidence? You be the judge.

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