The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

Kilauea, the volcano menacing Hawaii, has been a welcome diversion from the daily mass murders, Trump tirades and political polemics we’ve all been getting accustomed to as part of our consciousness in the Land of the Free. It takes a huge natural disaster to push those out of the headlines, I guess, but thank you, Pele. Nice to have a breather.

Apparently, not so much on the Big Island where now the danger is from toxic gases belched up by the angry god. The locals have been leaving booze along the highway toward the volcano, mostly gin which is reputed to be a preference, with or without tonic or vermouth, but this did little to abate the magma flow and now the scientists are talking about explosive eruptions and poison gases. Maybe a better quality gin, guys….

Many years ago I had one of those early coil top refrigerators and miracle of miracles, it still worked but I made the mistake of moving it out to my shop back in the woods and managed to inadvertently puncture one of the copper coils. The thing began hissing as coolant escaped and I began to panic as I considered something fast that would seal it back up. Immediately, however, I noticed the leaves downwind curling and dying in what apparently was a toxic drifting cloud of death and then my nose began to smart and I was forced to retreat to a safe distance upwind from the scene.

Turns out the coolant was sulfur dioxide or something similar, which, when combined with H20 becomes sulfuric acid. The plants provided all the water necessary, a vegetable suicide. Me, I stayed away until the hissing stopped the next day. For a hundred feet or so all the plants in the dead zone were curled up and killed. It looked like Syria after the mustard gas. And, of course, I was the perpetrator.

Lately the media has been playing up the Ring of Fire, all our volcanoes that will be next, take cover, take precautions, take out insurance, stock up on gin. Course, chances are good it won’t be in the next century or two, but hey, beats thinking about the Mueller investigation, don’tcha think? Meanwhile, we’re all getting a cheap chemistry lesson.

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