The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

Give the man credit, the sheer creativity in his myriad excuses for why he stole or borrowed or kept or forgot about those classified documents  he had squirreled away in his Mar-a-Lago basement and in his closet is worthy of any late night comic.  He declassified them, he claims they belong to him, he needed them to write his memoirs, they were planted by the FBI, the raid was illegal, he ran out of toilet paper, the excuses are endlessly entertaining and best of all, they never seem to stop.  Today I read that he needed to keep them for his, get this, presidential library.  Give me a break, if I don’t stop laughing pretty soon I’m going to give myself an aneurysm I swear to god.

The Trump Library.  Pause a minute between guffaws and milk spewed out your nose.  The man watched TV.  That was his intellectual mode.  He didn’t read a book or daily briefing reports, he never wrote anything that didn’t need flushing shortly after, he deleted his phone calls and emails, he took a page from the mafia dons who understood these dropped crumbs quickly become incriminating evidence in future trials.  A library?  C’mon, the guy never set foot in a library in his life, I’d bet my banjo.  Sure, put a gold toilet in the center of the floor with a copy of that infamous photo where he flushed the latest memo.  Stick a plunger next to it for when the plumbing clogs with the lost history of the Donald J. Trump presidency.  Run a continuous loop of his rally speech, pretty much the same one every time and in another room play his Hannity interviews on a big screen TV.  That, ladies and gentlemen, is the Trump Library.  If you think it needs beefing up, well, add a room for the first lady’s modeling photos, billboard size nudes, got to be over 18 to go in there.

Okay, I’m being unfair.  The man had all those boxes of documents.  I know, they could fill a room or two.  The Love letter from Kim Jung Un could get its own room.  The note Obama left on the Oval Office desk could get another.  Maybe we need another wing, one exclusively for the Giuliani Proverbs.  But I’m kidding, the Library will be in the basement of Trump Tower.  Open sporadically, hours limited.  I wouldn’t plan a vacation around a trip there.  Take the kids to the Smithsonian instead.  Or just your local library.

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