The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

In a hastily called news conference in the White House briefing room a visibly flustered Sarah Huckabee Sanders denied claims that the Administration had been infiltrated by beings from another galaxy. When questioned repeatedly concerning reports that the President had been abducted and replaced by shape-shifting aliens from beyond our solar system, she answered unequivocally ‘Fake News’.

Reports from the CIA and FBI, as well as from the NSA, would seem to contradict Ms. Sanders’ denials. In a much watched interview on 60 Minutes, Education Secretary Betsy DeVos was unable to answer even the simplest questions, raising concerns in the press that her intergalactic captor had replaced her brain with its own but had not downloaded terrestrial data before the show. Sudden policy reversals by the President himself would indicate extremely aberrant behavior explained in part by cerebral hijacking by body snatching invaders. Further, the rash of cabinet members and staff suddenly and impulsively fired lends credence to the conspiracy theorists’ belief that the White House is being replaced one by one by creatures whose intention is still unknown to us.

Jake Tapping, of CNN, asked when the White House was made aware that the Russian leadership had been similarly replaced, from Vladimir Putin on down, and wasn’t this why the Administration refused to criticize Russian efforts to delegitimize American elections? Ms. Sanders declined to answer and moments later the press corps was horrified when Mr. Tapping was reduced to smoking ash shortly after a crackling blue light blinded the room. Sanders suggested Mr. Tapping had needed to use the restroom when his absence was noted by fellow journalists. She reminded the assembled news people that smoking in the briefing room was, under no circumstances, allowed. “Please don’t let that happen in the future if you know what’s best for you,” she warned with her trademark crooked smile.

Meanwhile a wary nation waits for some Announcement from the President. Or his children. Strange beams of light have been seen emanating from the Washington Monument and tours there have been canceled indefinitely. An unidentified porn star stepped forward this week to suggest the creature masquerading as Donald Trump has genitalia not of this earth, but when interviewed yesterday she refused to make further comment, citing a no-speech contract for $250,000. A worried population waits for further developments and analysis from Fox and Friends. Stay tuned.

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