The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

I hate a smarty pants as much as the next dumb guy. You know the type, climate scientists, Middle East experts, folks who collect data on everything from global temperatures to gunshot deaths. Who needs em? The world is tough enough without complicating it up with facts and statistics.

That’s why we got the Right Man in the White House. Facts? He don’t need no stinking facts. In fact, he doesn’t believe facts are facts. Doesn’t have to, he’s President and the rest of you are the lying media and the left wingers and those stuffy Ivy League college snobs. You want a Harvard professor for a neighbor? Correcting your bad grammar? Showing off with his command of the, ho ho, facts? Didn’t think you did. I sure don’t. Jeez, give me a guy who I can drink a beer with while we look under the hood of his vintage Chevy trying to figure out why it won’t start.

I just read today that the Commander-in-Chief has stopped reading the daily briefing reports, all that hokum the State Department and the military brass and the economic councils throw together and condense down for the President to read every damn morning. Like he doesn’t have something better to do. Fox and Friends, just to name a few. Get all he needs right there, you ask me. And if you don’t believe me, go ask him. Daily briefings? C’mon, that’s why he has advisors. And cabinet members. Experts in their fields.

Okay, they’re not experts, but hey, that’s my whole point. We’re sick and tired of these college trained, east coast, liberal smartasses. That’s why we got Rick Perry running Energy and DeVoss running Education and old Doc Carson running Housing. Tillerson runs the State Department. You think he knew anything about State Department crap? They can reinvent these departments. Move em into the 21st Century. Get rid of the pointy headed hombres who’ve been there practically since 1776. Deep State. Gonna make it shallower, that’s the whole point. Get rid of em altogether, be okay with me and Donald.

All you crybaby losers who said America would go to hell faster than you can say Woman Abuser, wake up! The economy’s doing gangbusters, unemployment is way low, the corporations are going to have a banner year. You want someone to read those daily briefings, be my guest. The rest of us have better things to do. Me, I’m going over to Roy’s next door, see what’s under the hood for problems today, maybe have a beer or three. You let me know if anything Real Important shows up.

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